Letters from Parents About Denial
of Toilet Usage in their Child’s School

The following are personal accounts from parents who’s children have been denied use of the toilet in school. The accounts are excerpted from people who have responded to ChildAdvocate.org, or to Parents and Teachers against Violence in Education (PTAVE www.nospank.net) via e-mail. For the protection of the respondents, all identities will remain confidential. (ChildAdvocate.org reserves the right to edit letters for grammatical purposes)

September 11, 2007 (New York, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I'm trying to find out if denying a seven year old in 3rd grade going to the bathroom is [against the] law in NY state. I think its ridiculous when the teacher asks the child if its an emergency. No it isn't they need to go & make a phonecall on their cellphone or smoke a cigarette! Does a seven year old really know the meaning of "emergency" when it comes to going to the bathroom?"

September 5, 2007 (Michigan, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My 8th grade son came home from school yesterday with a set of classroom rules and expectations. Rule number six states:"bathroom passes will be allowed three times a semester. You will only be allowed to go when I sign your planner. If your planner is not present, you will not be allowed to leave the room." Upon contacting the school, the principal actually stands behind this rule. Is there a law that says they cant deny our children bathroom use?"

(Follow up letter September 7, 2007): "Thank you for replying. I threw my legal weight around with the superintendent, principal and actual teacher and forced her to rewrite the class rules to revoke that particular rule. I hope they are going to hold to their end of the bargain. I told them that if they didn't I would contact my friend who is the president of the ACLU here in Michigan."

August 31, 2007 (Florida, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I came across your article and would greatly appreciate if you would allow me to print it to send to my child's school. They have come up with a "new" rule regarding the restriction of bathroom use. My son only has four times to go in the first nine-week grading period and during the first week of school he has used two of those times already."

August 31, 2007 (Alabama, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My child goes to ____ High school in ____ Alabama. The ISS teacher would not let my child go to the bathroom and made him stand up from the time he got to school at 7:30 til 1:30."

August 27, 2007 (North Carolina, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am shocked to find this is such a common problem! Once, [when my son was in] Kindergarten, on a day when there was a substitute teacher, I walked in to find my son in shoes literally sloshing full of urine. The assistant teacher told him he had to wait, and when given access my son found the bathroom occupied. He was too shy to ask the substitute. I discussed this with the teacher and the principal, and it didn't happen again, but neither did they accept responsibility. The teacher's assistant told me point blank it was not her responsibility to make sure children were dry, they were supposed to be potty trained in kindergarten. My response, then why do you REQUIRE a clean change of clothes with their names inside, in plastic gallon bags with their names on them, be submitted on the first day of school, and more importantly, why wasn't he allowed to change? He was that wet from 12 pm until I picked him up at 2:15pm. Shamefully, the assistant principal said she had to side with the teacher, because it wasn't apparent my son was wet, he was wearing dark clothing. Last Friday, I picked up my son, he was abnormally quiet and withdrawn and escaped to the bathroom as soon as we were home. I was concerned, and checked, and he had dried feces in his pants that he had tried to clean up and blisters on his bottom. He said he asked the assistant teacher to go to the bathroom, and she told him he had to wait until after recess. He said he asked again before lining up and she told him "I called you mother and she said you could wait"! I hadn't talked with that teacher at all that day! Of course, I contacted the school's director and requested he be transferred to another class."

August 27, 2007 (State Unknown, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My son is 5 yrs old with a 504 Plan. He has had bladder spasms/ frequency for two years now. The school has always abided by the "no bathroom restrictions, allow him to use as needed" script. Suddenly, the school's CSE Chairperson informed me that she has the right to override the script and instruct his teacher to determine everytime he has to use the bathroom if it is "needed" or some type of avoidance issue! Prior to this he has been able to go without any attempt to redirect or interview him. Please help as he is about to start first grade in Sept."

August 15, 2007 (Kentucky, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am writing to request permission to make a copy of your article "Forced Retention of Bodily Waste: The Most Overlooked Form of Child Maltreatment." My child's teacher has asked her to bring a note to class giving her permission to use the bathroom when she needs. I am very angry that the school system is set up in such a way that creates a physically and psychologically abusive environment."

June 12, 2007 (Pennsylvania, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My son recently encountered this issue with one of his teachers. He asked twice to use the restroom - once before class and once towards the end of class and was denied both times. He could not hold his urine any longer and left the room to go to the restroom. He was gone all the way of about 2 - 3 minutes which was just long enough to take care of his needs. The teacher sent him to the office. The administration agrees that he should have been permitted to use the restroom and states the teacher was told to let him do so in the future. However, they still want to punish my son for leaving the room. My husband and I don't think it's fair that he should be punished at all for this as he was forced by the teacher to either disobey or pee his pants. We would like to use your information to present to t hem the medical risks and so forth in hopes that we can make them realize that this was child abuse / corporal punishment (which is illegal in PA) and that he IS a victim in the hopes they won't punish him further."

April 19, 2007 (Florida, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"At the beginning of the year my FIVE year old said that she came home wet daily because she was not allowed to use the bathroom when she needed to. She told me that she was not allowed to go during lunch. The lunch people said that the teacher was supposed to remind them to go before lunch. The teacher said that my daughter should "remember to go when the teacher says to "clean up" - teacher not able to remind them - but told me that they can "go any time that they want to. If they get up and go to the bathroom during rest period they do not get the stupid "rest time good behavior treat". My daughter desperately wants to earn the treat and to "be good" so she wets herself. Now I hear that when she asks to go during recess, she is told that she "has to wait". So she has learned how to remove the poop from her pants later in the day using toilet paper when she is finally allowed to go."

April 5, 2007 (Oklahoma, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My 5th grade grandchild attends ___ Middle School in Mounds, OK. She is prone to kidney infections, and has a family history of kidney stones and what used to be called Brights disease. She was refused bathroom use even though she held it until her work was complete. I have had nothing but problems with this school all year and am now angry and fed up. The state department of education is absolutely no help. I am going to talk with the teacher, the principal and the superintendent and am also talking to her pediatrician. I do intend to take legal action if it happens again."

April 3, 2007 (Maine, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My daughter 15 years old, freshmen in a Maine High School was refused to use the restroom today at school. She had a substitute teacher that when my daughter asked to use the restroom said no because my daughter didn't have her planner for passes. My daughter had to go really bad, she left class and when she returned to class was given 3 days detention. My daughter also has anxiety, PTSD, depression and when she was handed 3 days detention she was very upset and ended up having to leave class..."

March 14, 2007 (Idaho, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I HAVE A 16 YR DAUGHTER AND SHE IS IN HIGHSCHOOL. I HAVE BEEN TO HER SCHOOL ONCE ALREADY TO DISCUSS THE BATHROOM ISSUES BUT ONCE AGAIN HERE WE ARE WITH THE SAME ISSUE. HER TEACHER ACTUALLY SAID, I'M SORRY BUT -----HAS ALREADY USED HER 5 PASSES FOR THE SCHOOL YEAR. I TOLD HER SHE HAD NO RIGHT TELLING MY CHILD SHE COULDN'T USE THE BATHROOM AND I SAID FOR HER TO GO WHEN SHE HAS TO GO and SHE WILL NOT SPEND DETENTION FOR THE TIMES OF USING THE BATHROOM. I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS FOR MY CHILD AND NOBODY ELSE SHOULD EITHER. IM GLAD TO SEE THAT THERE IS SOME ADVISE OUT HERE"

March 1, 2007 (Florida, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My daughter who is in first grade attends a private school in South Florida. It has just come to my attention by another parent that when the children are sick at school and are waiting to be sent home, they are forced to sit in a small room that is the size of a closet with the door closed called the "sick clinic." There is nobody in there with them, and they are not allowed out until one of their parents gets there... There have been cases of children who were found in there crying because they needed to use the bathroom because they had diarrhea or had to vomit, or they were just plain scared. What are the legalities about a room like this?"

March 1, 2007 (Iowa, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"...My 8 year old daughter has overheard us discussing our concerns about denial of bathroom [rights at school regarding] her sister. She developed almost a paranoia about being denied bathroom [rights]. She was afraid to go on car trips to local scores, to go on playdates, and to go to school. She is getting better, more than one year later, because we have always made sure she is allowed to use the restroom at will in all environments. At school, what was very effective was that we sent a letter to the school outlining our concerns, and then essentially firmly stating our desire that our daughter never be prevented from using the restroom, regardless of the situation or the frequency of our request. We then specifically asked that if the school could not or would not honor this request that they inform of us this in writing. I strongly recommend this tactic. Obviously one should first discuss things informally. But sometimes schools may have a tendency to ignore requests. Asking for a written explanation of why a (hopefully reasonable) parental request is being refused makes it impossible for the school to ignore a parental request."

February 22, 2007 (Tennessee, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Recently, my 12 yr old son asked to go to the restroom and was denied access. He attends ___ Middle, in Johnson City, TN. After waiting for about 10-15 minutes, he ended up urinating on himself. Once again, he tried to go to the bathroom and was told to return to his seat and wait until the period ended, which he did. (Now if you could imagine the embarrassment he had to endure while waiting for the classes to switch.) It was then the teacher realized what had happened and ordered him to go to the guidance counselor to get cleaned up. Instead of notifying myself of my wife to bring a change of clothing, they first, put a pair of used sweatpants on my son, took his urine-saturated underwear, pants, and socks, and put them into his backpack along with his schoolwork and books. He came on the bus, shoes still wet from urine and too embarrassed to talk about it... This entire situation could have been prevented had the teacher of the class allowed him to go to the bathroom and return to class. I might add, my son has never had any behavioral issues, and has always excelled in academics. Someone needs to be held accountable so this will not happen to him again, and on a much bigger note, to anyone else’s child."

February 5, 2007 (Texas, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My daughter is 7 years old. On February 5, 2007 I received a call from the nurse’s office at 12:11 p.m. The nurse stated that ___ had an “accident” and needed a change of clothes. It was approximately 12:45 p.m. when I arrived at the school and checked ___ out for the day. I have since been made aware by Rhiannon that her teacher, Ms. ___, has implemented a restrictive toilet use policy. My child has been denied use of the toilet. My child has been punished by denying her request to use the toilet. On more than one occasion ___ as been told to stand still for 15 minutes after asking to use the toilet, prior to being allowed to use it. Today she was forced to “hold it” all day until she could no longer control her bladder. ___, as well as the rest of the class, was told by her teacher that no one would be allowed to use the restroom, not even during lunch, until the return of a missing dollar... There has been no apology to ___for this abuse, not that an apology could ever heal her emotional trauma, though it would at least help to assure her that she was not at fault in this matter. Toilet use is a right not a privilege. I will not tolerate my child’s right to use the toilet to be restricted. I will not allow my child to serve any punishment in connection with using or needing to use the toilet. I have contacted the school’s principle regarding this abuse. I intend to involve the school’s guidance counselor as well. If need be, I will contact the Superintendent, school board, child protective services, the local media and if necessary, an attorney. I will not tolerate any form of retaliation toward ___ by any teacher or the school due to this incident. ___ has been informed by her parents that she has the right to use the toilet whenever she needs to and that her parents are willing and capable of protecting that right and will seek justice for her. ___ has been informed that she should get up and walk out of the class if a teacher denies her use of the toilet again."

January 23, 2007 (South Wales, UK) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My daughter is thirteen years old and goes to a comprehensive school. They have three large buildings in the school and there is one toilet block in each building. Is the school breaking the law by only having one toilet block open at lunch break for the amount of children at the school?"

January 23, 2007 (Georgia, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My fight started last year when my 14 year old daughter was a freshman in High School in Georgia. She is prone to urinary tract infections, she has her cycle about every 2 weeks and it has lasted as long as 14 days, as well as being on a special diet for insulin resistance headed towards diabetes which requires her to drink lots of water. As freshman they were only given so many passes to use the bathroom. With her history it did not take her long to go thru the passes. I fought the administration until I was blue in the face – started in October – and finally in February I broke down and provided a letter from the doctor that it is indeed necessary for her to go to the bathroom. Of course, the school lost it, still gave her trouble, gave her ISS, etc., so I called my local news agency. This still did not stop them from keeping her using the bathroom so I had to obtain yet another doctor’s letter. I sent one to every teacher she had that quarter as well as about 100 copies to the principal. I also called my local Department of Children and Family Services to be told that there was nothing I could do about it. I complained to my Superintendent of Schools to be told that I could transfer her to another school but I’d have to supply transportation. Finally when I threatened to contact the Ethics Department the harassment stopped, for the moment. Now here we are again in her Sophomore year and she is being given trouble again. She told the teacher she had a doctor’s note and that teacher called the office to be told that she didn’t have a note on file. After supplying a copy of the note to this teacher, she is still being told no that she can’t go to the restroom. The teacher called me at work to gripe because she thought Shelby was abusing the note, and she could go between classes. After blessing the woman out for harassing me at work when she has a doctor’s note, I asked if she is staying out of the class an excessively long time or is she going to and from the bathroom, and she never answered my question. I am at my wits end with this school. The Principal isn’t any help, the Superintendent isn’t any help, DFACS won’t help, I’ve spoken to an attorney that says nothing can be done. I need help. There must be some way to stop this abuse and harassment of my 15 year old."

October 26, 2006 (Washington, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"...I just thought about my granddaughter who is 2-1/2 and we are trying to toilet train her. What about toilet accessibility for young children? I was told NO at a store and she would be [denied at this store], also. Children are denied from a very young age."

October 20, 2006 (Florida, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I have three children in St. Lucie county, FL schools, and they lock the bathrooms. Just today I received a call from my oldest, 6th grade, that he had an accident in his pants. He was denied the use of the restroom. The teacher stated he didn't have a key, and that he would have to wait. I was outraged! Not only is it inhumane to deny a child the use of the restroom, but completely humiliating and traumatizing for a child to go through. And this is not the first incident. My younger two in elementary are rewarded for not using the restroom all day. My youngest, 2nd grade, very competitive, comes home with stomach cramps and has bowl problems because of it. Teachers actually guard the drinking fountains and restrooms during class changes and dismissals denying children to use them. I had witnessed this my self while picking up my son one day. We had walked past the teacher to get a drink when I was told we were not allowed (we got a drink anyway)! During this time a young boy, holding himself, asked if he could go to the bathroom. She simply stated they're locked. Can they do this? Is this legal? The school's explanation is its a "safety issue". Something needs to be done about this, can you help me?"

October 18, 2006 (Virginia, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My son is in 7th grade. One of his teachers emailed me telling me that she is going to ask the 7th grade team of teachers to not allow my son to use the bathroom in during class time. [My son] has had problems wetting his pants many times when not allowed to use the bathroom in school which then causes the others students to tease & torment him. I did take him to the doctors. They did write me a note for the school telling them to allow ____ to use the bathroom during the day. [My son] told me this afternoon that Ms. ____ told him she was calling the doctors office to approve the note the doctor had written. I called the doctors office to be told yes, the school did call requesting to speak to my child's doctor. What are his rights?"

October 14, 2006 (Illinois, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"...I would like to know what I could do to keep my son, and the other children from getting tardy's for going to the bathroom. I have been highly angered by this principal who sounds to me like, someone gave her a little power, and she has chosen to use it in a completely ignorant and useless manner."

October 9, 2006 (Oregon, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am a parent of three children who attend grade, middle and high schools.I am presently in contact with the principal again this year regarding punishment and reward for bathroom use. I would like to give them a copy of this information [from the website]."

October 6, 2006 (Florida, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My 14 year old son is being denied his right from one teacher at _____ High in Bratt, Florida. She denied him a bathroom pass and he was giving a referral for going to the bathroom anyway. We have requested meetings with her and she will not meet with us as his parents. this happened on September 13, 2006. I requested a meeting and sent her information on the medical problems it can cause. She will not call or meet with me. She told him he has to go before her class or after her class. This has now caused him 8 tardies to her class. He was suspended four the first 4 tardies, then she wrote a new referral with the first four tardies and included 4 more tardies and the school has had him do work detail. I need any help you can send my way."

September 29, 2006 (Illinois, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am a college student and I have a teacher that prohibits our class from using the restroom. Is there anything I can do?"

September 11, 2006 (Texas, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My daughter is 17 years old and attends high school in Pottsboro, TX. I am in a battle with the high school now as my child has been written two tardies for going to the bathroom. She has refused to sign the detention paperwork and is now threatened with in school suspension. By the school's own policies the students are held as committing a felonious offense if they use the bathroom in class ([i.e., have] an accident). This rule because it exposes a school employee to human bodily fluids. She had taken her books to class and informed her teacher that she was going to the restroom before the bell rang. The principal would not return my calls and when I finally got my call through to the principal he informed me that he would not reconsider and that she would be forced to sit detention or be suspended. I need help as she is a good student and has never caused any disciplinary problems at school."

September 2, 2006 (Mississippi, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My 17 year old son asked to go to the restroom at school four times during a class. When he was not allowed to go, he left class & went. The assistant principal called today to notify me my son would be suspended for one day for leaving class without permission..."

September 1, 2006 (Tennessee, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I have read the letters on your web site and I find myself overwhelmed at the lack of laws for our children. I am the mother of a 9 yr old and 11 yr old. I am also in the medical health profession and my husband is a doctor with his own practice. I have had problems with my oldest son's school. He is in middle school. He is in 6th grade this year and he has 2 scheduled bathroom breaks. This means that the whole 6th grade class can have a bathroom break at 2 and 6 period. His 6th period teacher is denying the whole class bathroom breaks due to a handful of students who constantly misbehave. This break is not an individual bathroom break, this is scheduled for all students in 6th grade. So what is happening is not only are the children not able to go between these breaks, but they are punished by not being given the scheduled break! It seems the more I read the more I find parents across the board have the same problem sometimes worse sometime not. I have contacted the department of human services and child protection services. They all think the situations should not exist, but there are no laws to say that this cannot go on. So I find I am coming up empty handed with any material to verify that this is a violation of my child's rights. I do plan however to contact more parents in my sons class and involved them as much as possible in hopes they also will confront this teacher and let her know this is unacceptable... I will continue to research this problem and hope to put and end to this type of punishment."

August 28, 2006 (Colorado, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I would like to thank you so much for your website. Our family knows now that we are not alone in this battle. I wish I had access to this information ten years ago. My daughter was born with Vesicoureteral reflux. We spent the first year of her life in and out of the hospital with incredibly high fevers and UTI's until the doctors felt she could undergo the surgery to correct the problem. Even after that the pediatrician told me that she would always be susceptible to UTI's and holding her urine at all would be ten times more painful for her than the average person. On her first day of kindergarten she had an accident at school. Being a young mother, I had no idea that children would be restricted from using the bathroom...I didn't even think to ask about it. After that, and the years since (she's in 8th grade now) I have sent letters requesting that she not be restricted from using the restroom whenever she needs to...and without punishment. There have been more than a few times when I have had to come in and talk to a stubborn teacher who refused to understand. And this is with a child who has a medical condition. I always felt for the students who did not...who could not get a note from a doctor in order for the school to approve the restroom pass. This was the case for my son. Due to what I went through with my daughter I felt my son deserved the same dignity. Year after year I sent the same note, minus the medical reason...but loaded down with many of the same facts that you go over on your website. I have never had a problem with it until this year. His new teacher stubbornly refuses to allow my son to use the bathroom when he needs to. The teacher tells me that the students are allowed to go at first recess, they have five minutes before lunch and recess after lunch. When I sent my yearly letter he informed me that after discussing his policy with the principal and the school nurse they are backing him. I am going to a meeting this Friday with the teacher, principal and the school nurse and I am coming in armed to the teeth with all of the information and sources you have provided on your website. I feel more than confidant that my son, and most likely the entire student population, will be rid of this archaic "rule" thanks to all the hard work you do."

August 9, 2006 (Newcastle, England) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I have just read your website with horror. I live in England and here, mostly, the teachers let kids use the toilet at school when they need it. We don't have bathroom passes, etc.; the kids can just go. I have just emailed the Whitehouse and told them the story, whether they will reply or not, I don't know. Have you sent an email to the Whitehouse and did you get any comeback? It's time the laws were changed; why should the children suffer, they are supposed to be looked after."

June 7, 2006 (The Philippines) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am American and my wife is from the Philippines. She was watching GMA a broadcasting network from the Philippines. We have Direct TV so we receive the channels. The network reported that in the public schools the children have to pay one peso to be able to use the bathroom. If the student does not have the money the student cannot use the bathroom. Some of these parents earn about two pesos a day. That is roughly $1.00 US dollar. The toilet is a bucket."

May 25, 2006 (North Carolina, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

I have been contacted by ____, who I am copying on this email. Her daughter was denied bathroom use here in North Carolina. Same old story. What is interesting about this case is that the principal had the school nurse question this student for 45 minutes about her health history, as though to undermine her doctor's note indicating that she should have the right to go to the bathroom as needed. Now the situation has become a battle, and the mom has asked that her daughter not be questioned or interviewed without a parent present. The school principal has told her to contact the school district attorney for any other requests. Just flexing their muscles if you ask me."

May 25, 2006 (State Unknown, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Can you tell me if there are any laws on being allowed to use the toilet in a community center, as my children have been refused on several occasions?"

May 24, 2006 (Oregon, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Today I witnessed a horrifying event when I went along with my 1st grade daughter's field trip to the zoo. The drive was approximately two hours each way. Before leaving the zoo all children used the toilet. However, once they got on the bus they were given a snack and a full size bottle of water for the ride home. At 4:15, about an hour into the ride, a quiet 1st grade girl two rows behind me, told me she had to go to the bathroom very bad. Her teacher (there was only one teacher on the bus) was two rows ahead of me. I told the teacher exactly what the child said. Her response was "too bad, she should have taken care of that before". I was shocked at her cold behavior. She made sure her comments were loud enough to be heard by the girl but did not go to her or try to talk with her. I moved back to talk to her and could see she was obviously in great pain and sobbing. Again I told the teacher about the urgency of the matter. She said "we're not stopping, she's going to have to hold it." So, for 45 minutes from the time the girl announced she had to go "very bad" we pulled up to the school. She somehow managed to hold it but was in such great pain she was barely able to speak and she could not walk. Another chaperone, the father of one of the students, carried her from the bus all the way into a toilet and sat her down. Her mother was there at that point to take over. I was furious at the teacher but also furious at myself. I felt ashamed to be an adult at this point. The father who carried her said "we should have made them stop". He was absolutely right. Normally I am assertive. But I felt that since this teacher was in charge of this bus she was allowed to make the decisions. But she was very wrong and I should have stood up for this child. I have apologized to this child for not doing this. I need help knowing what to do next. Do I write to the school board? The principal?"

(Follow up Letter May 25, 2005:) "...Since yesterday I have written letters to the ACLU, TSPC (Teachers Standards & Practices Commission) and also to the school principal, superintendent, and district school nurse. I did include the link to your site's page about this issue. I said that I would see this through until the teacher is held accountable and a policy is in place to prevent something like this from happening again. Next on my list is Child Protective Services."

May 6, 2006 (Michigan, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am writing to request permission to attach copies of "What to do if your Child's Teacher Restricts or Denies Toilet Use" & General Information on child Abuse and Neglect specifically Physical Abuse, physical neglect & psychological/emotional abuse. My 15 year old daughter was denied the right to use the bathroom facilities even when she explained she had "problems" pointing to and indicating problems of the female type. She sat in class and menstruated through her clothing. This is appalling to me as a woman and as a registered nurse in the women's health field. I am not sure how far this will go but I want cited sources to detail in my formal complaint. Additionally I have a Chief of Obstetrics from our local hospital on board who has volunteered to write a letter."

(Follow up Letter June 27, 2006:) "After composing my letter which I did utilize your site & have since been spreading the word I faxed it to the board of education, superintendent of the school, the high school principal, the board of education and the teacher involved. I promptly received replies from the principal (who was wonderful) and the teacher (not so wonderful) after several phone calls and emails and a meeting the issue was resolved with an apology to my daughter from the teacher & principal. I was then assured of follow up on the school's end (principal stated my letter and a formal letter from the school would be placed in the teacher's file). Within the month there was a posting for this teacher's position."

April 26, 2006 (Tennessee, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I have been fighting this battle since ___ was in preschool. He was already a hard case when we started potty training, being a boy, he didn't want to stop playing and remembering constipation, he didn't want it to hurt. I believe all these obstacles could have been conquered had I have had the support from daycare workers and teachers at school. Once in kindergarten, he had many accidents. Trying to be patient, I would ask questions like, 'Did you ask the teacher, was the bathroom clean, were you playing and didn't want to stop?' When I wrote many letters, (questioning) that __ had been told he could only go (to the bathroom) when the class goes (to the bathroom), I very rarely got a response and never did I get a response of, 'we make sure the children know they can go immediately. One day at home, __ started screaming, and went into the fetal position, I thought it was a appendicitis or (something) to do with holding his bowels. I fed him good fiber and everything good, so I knew it wasn't that. We went to the emergency room and they did an x-ray. There was a large mass stuck in his intestines! The doctor infuriatingly said, 'who is responsible for this child?' I said I was. He said he is severely constipated, I explained that I feed him good and I asked if (the impaction) had anything to do with (him retaining waste), he said yes, I said 'well, can you give me a note to give to the teachers cause they don't seem to understand the importance of going instead of suppressing the urge'. Needless to say he is 7 years old now and is still having accidents. Three days in a row he had bowel accidents and when I ask what was going on he said the teacher said no, or the teacher said 'we just went', or 'we are doing work right now'. I wrote three letters and still didn't feel that they were taking it seriously; the last letter I wrote I told his teacher that I hoped that she would have to go and that no one will let her and then hope she has to go in her pants and in return be made fun of by her peers. She got upset, finally. I said I was sorry I made her upset but that I was (upset), too. That has been 2 weeks ago. I saw your website by accident, then came upon your views on this subject, I felt so validated! But now, I'm still battling the fact that __ has been trained so long to suppress that urge (to eliminate waste) that he is having accidents regularly again. Everything I did to counter act what they were doing was so hard and when I let up, their train of thought over took again. I have gotten so upset with him and it is not his fault but if you can imagine me being a single mom living in a single room. He still wets the bed and I am constantly washing sheets, pants, and throwing away pants! Please help me help my son. I'm losing my mind!"

April 24, 2006 (Minnesota, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I came across your article by chance while researching whether or not a teacher could refuse a student access to a restroom.  In this case, my middle school son has been repeatedly denied access to a restroom by a regular substitute teacher.  There appears to be a deep rooted personality conflict, but my 11 year old has never been in trouble and is, generally, well-behaved in class. None of his teachers complain about excessive bathroom use. Yet, this substitute continually denies him the right. The original incident resulted in a small amount of fecal matter staining his underpants. Thankfully, it happened at the end of the day, but he was humiliated and made uncomfortable. The original incident was addressed by the school and he was permitted to go to the office during any period in which this teacher was present.  Her abuse also included disparaging remarks about him. More recently, she denied him use of a restroom prior to administering and exam. Not only did he fail the exam (of which I am demanding a retake), she permitted his classmates to taunt him about the fact that he was uncomfortable and need to use the restroom. I have since instituted a formal complaint against her and we will see where it goes.  It is appalling that we have “No Bully” zones in our schools to prevent student to student misbehavior, but do not hold our teachers to the same standard. Her use of her position of authority to intimidate and humiliate is not only degrading and detrimental to a child, but violates countless local, state and federal laws against harassment. Thank you for the insightful (and in many ways supportive) article.  I was unsure that my issues were serious and found the support needed from your website."

April 17, 2006 (California, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Last Thursday, April 13, the school principal at my daughters' school recently locked all the bathrooms due to graffiti problems. A memo was sent out to all the teachers giving the students (K-6) instructions to go to the front office and ask for permission to use the restroom. Then, the student(s) have to look for the custodian to unlock the door. I would like to have your permission to print the whole section of "Forced Retention of Bodily Waste" or get a copy from you so that I may give it to the front office staff, the principal and if need be, the school district."

April 10, 2006 (North Carolina, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I have enjoyed reading the previous articles on this sensitive issue. My 6 year old son came home last week with his pants full of waste! Needles to say I have set up meeting with his teacher, computer teacher, and assistant principal. I am FURIOUS! that the school did not allow my son, who we both love dearly, to go to the bathroom (The public bathroom!). I am also a teacher, but I am going to get answers to this disturbing incident. Do you have any pre questioning techniques I could use during the meeting?"

March 15, 2006 (California, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am the mother of four children that attend an ultra conservative Christian school. I would prefer to have the children in another school, but I am not able to switch them at this point. My son has come home almost daily complaining that he is not allowed to use the bathroom during class. He is made to run laps if he interrupts the class to ask the teacher. Last year, he had a stomach ache and was not excused to use the bathroom. He had to run out of the class and vomit in the planters right outside the door because he was sick. That teacher would allow him to use the bathroom after that incident. Now that he has a new teacher, he is being forced to "hold it" until his breaks. Unfortunately, he is often times in trouble for not "sitting still" and "obeying" so he spends much time on the wall or running laps. I would like to use your material to try to persuade the teachers to allow my son to use the bathroom. I have spoken to the teachers, I have spoken to the principal, and I have written many letters. They refuse to change their policy.

(Follow up Letter March 16, 2006): I will be taking my son to the pediatrician and counselor tomorrow. Tonight he began to beat his head against the mirror in the bathroom out of frustration. This is a new behavior for him - it is the 3rd time he has done this since the beginning of the school year. He was a very happy, self-confident boy before he had these two teachers (husband and wife co-teach). I will also contact CPS."

February 23, 2006 (Kentucky, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Is there a law that says people even students have a right to use the bathroom? Any help would be appreciated. I know I read about one, but forgot to bookmark it. (I am a) new KY resident where bathroom use is VERY restricted in lower elementary grades."

February 16, 2006 (Georgia, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My son is 10. This morning at school a hall monitor at school denied my son, and three other children the right to go to the bathroom. As a result, my child had a bowl movement in his pants. He went to the office and my husband (a US Marine and military policeman) was called. When my husband got to the school with new clothes he found out that the hall monitor was an adult. My son did not know the name of the adult, but my husband told the principal that she would find out and she would also inform his teacher that our son "has the stomach flu" and would not be returning to class. He had her tell his teacher this to try to same our son some humiliation, especially since it had already started for him. Should we call CPS? My husband is currently trying to find a lawyer and we want this handled properly. Our son will be humiliated and tortured by other children over this. We feel this was child abuse by the adult to deny him this right in such an emergency. We are prepared to do whatever it takes to make this right for our son and to make sure it does not happen again."

(Follow up Letter February 16, 2006:) This has caused such an upset. My son is acting, I guess, overly nice. Jumping to help, like he is trying to act like it never happened. He doesn't want to really talk about it. I am afraid it has hurt him in some emotional way that isn't good What can I do to help him. I am wondering if I should send him to school tomorrow, or if he even wants to go tomorrow. I think if he is very upset in the morning, I will let him stay home. Should I see how this is effecting him and go with how he feels with it? To me it is like he is pushing it aside and trying to hide it or something. Our plan of action is to call DFCS (or CPS), call the school board, and call a lawyer. I want something done about it, but more than anything, I want my son to know that we will fight for him and his rights. I know he was so humiliated and is going to be teased so bad by other kids. I am saving your e-mails to send to the board and the lawyer. I did not know that (forced retention of bodily waste) was considered torture by Amnesty International. I knew it was a form of child abuse. This is so disturbing especially since it was done by a teacher. We just transferred him to this school early in the school year."

February 14, 2006 (Texas, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org: "I have two children that attend elementary school here in Spring Branch, Texas. The Art teacher has been denying use of the bathroom to all children during her class. If a child insists that their need is urgent they are allowed to go, but they are docked points (art bucks). I know of several other parents that have objected to this practice. The school principal assured them that this would be stopped. Months have passed nothing has changed."

February 12, 2006 (Missouri, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am the mother of 3 daughters, ages 18, 14, & 11 . I live in Missouri. I have been reading your articles on the health risks involved in not letting a child go to the restroom at school. I first became concerned with this issue last year, when one day my daughter come home from school and changed her pants. I was doing laundry and found blood on my daughter's underpants & jeans. When I asked my daughter what happened, she said that she was bleeding heavily and needed to go "change". She asked to go to the bathroom, and was denied. I have to tell you, that I have already talked to their principal about this issue. I brought this bathroom issue up to her right before the school year started. She looked me right in the eye and told me that those kids would have a chance to go to the bathroom if an emergency arises. Now I hear she's went back on her word and telling the teachers they BETTER NOT let the kids go to the bathroom during class. And also, the kids sometimes are even denied the chance to go to the bathroom at lunchtime or recess. They only have 3 minutes to go to their lockers and get to class in time, in which the principal is in the hall jumping on them, telling them to hurry up and get to class. So tell me, if a child cannot go to the bathroom during class, does NOT have the time to go between classes, and cannot go at lunchtime or recess, then when are they supposed to be able to go? I feel this is a very serious problem!! My daughters are now showing signs of trouble with constipation because of not being able to move their bowels when they need to. This has been troubling me for a long time, but the reason I have finally said that enough is enough, is when my youngest daughter come home from school the other day, practically in tears because she needed to move her bowels at school, but couldn't do it because they cannot go to the bathroom. I can no longer sit quietly by and see this go on over at their school. I am in the process of making an appointment to my children's doctor to talk with her about this situation, and I'm also going have this brought up to the school board about this issue, but I'm deeply worried and desperately looking for somewhere else I can go, because I have no assurance that the school board will help me on this, and I don't know where to go or what to do if the school board refuses to help with this matter."

February 11, 2006 (New Jersey, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I would like to use your article "Forced Retention of Bodily Waste: The Most Overlooked Form of Child Maltreatment" to send to the principal, ____ and Board of Education at the Rumson Fair Haven Regional High School Board of Education. My son received an afterschool detention because he left the lunch room after asking to go to the bathroom, being told to get a pass, no passes were available, and he left to use the bathroom in an emergency situation."

February 8, 2006 (California, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I have a problem and I am hoping you can direct me for information. I have a 15 year old daughter in the 10th grade. She has asked her instructor to use the restroom for female reasons. He told her she could go however she would not get credit for class that day or she would have to stay and make up the time at lunch or after school. As if this is not absolutely crazy enough, it gets worse. I emailed the instructor to ensure that he was aware that my daughter has a bleeding disorder and will need to use the restroom frequently during menstruation and should not be penalized for a medical condition. His response to me was that he has a 'strict bathroom policy' and will not allow it without her making up the time. I am disgusted. So I emailed him back asking him to provide me with the school policy so I can discuss the matter further with the principal. He then tells me that there is an absentee policy that students must make up assignments. Ok, no sense out of this. If your child misses a day from school, they are not required to attend school for an additional day in order to pass the class! Please help!"

January 17, 2006 (Ontario, Canada) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My daughter ___ is 6 years old and in grade one. ___ informed me several weeks ago that in her class they have a rule about using the washroom, that you have to wait until recess.Yesterday I get a call from the school secretary stating that ___ had an accident. When I got to the school with a change of clothes,___ had a lump in her throat and couldn't even talk she was so embarrassed. After school I asked her what had happened and why she had peed in her pants. ___ is very mature for her age and told me this: 'Mom,we are not allowed to go to the bathroom until recess and if we ask then we lose points.' I asked her if losing the points was worth peeing her pants. The answer for a 6 year old was yes, they look forward to the points. Seems like a brainwashing tactic to me. ___ had her lunch and a drink to top it off a 341ml can of orange juice, then sent outside to play without using the washroom,was brought back in at 12:30pm (lunch was at 11:40) and wasn't allowed to use the washroom until 2:15. Naturally, she couldn't hold it. She is so very humiliated! I have requested a meeting with that teacher today after school and I will be informing her that using the washroom is a right not a privilege. I also told ___ to never be afraid to ask again and if refused, to walk out, use the facilities and have the secretary call me immediately."

February 8, 2006 (New Jersey, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Lakeside Middle School in Millville, NJ has locked down their bathrooms for fear of bomb threats, forcing kids to defecate in their pants. Are there any laws in NJ that deal with this issue? Can you send them any literature and let them know this is wrong?"

February 6, 2006 (Pennsylvania, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am writing to you about the newest trend with the elementary schools... they are timing children going to the bathroom & telling us as parents how long they can take in the bathroom. I have even gotten quotes telling me how long an average 1st grader takes in the bathroom & what is considered too long in the bathroom."

January 25, 2006 (Ohio, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"This is in regards to children being denied "bathroom breaks" My child attends ___ JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL in ___, Ohio. My daughter was in class and could feel that she had "started her menstrual cycle and "she could feel it a whole lot." She held up her hand and asked her teacher if she may use the restroom. Her teacher was very loud and gruff and told ___ that she 'may not' use the restroom. ___ waited about five minutes and asked her teacher again if she may use the restroom. She once again held up her hand and asked Mr. Hebruch if she may use the restroom. Her teacher was very loud and mean and told her "No, ___ you may not use the bathroom; I have already told you 'no' once; so 'now you have a warning'. ___ waited again a few more minutes and held up her hand and asked again. This time Mr. Hebruch became very very angry and told ___ that she would get a lunch detention for asking and refused her once more. ___ then stood up and said 'Hey Mr. Hebruch, I really really have to go; it’s an emergency.' Mr. Hebruch told her that she then had an office referral. ___ then said; 'Mr. Hebruch if you do not let me go, then I will have to walk out of class, can't you see that I am being serious because you have already punished me twice and I am still telling you that I have to go to the restroom; it is an emergency!' Mr. Hebruch yelled at her to sit down or she could go to the office right now. ___ said; 'OK, I asked you, but I have to go and I thought that it was not legal to keep kids from going to the bathroom.' Mr. Hebruch started laughing at ___ and told her that there was 'No law about letting kids go to the restroom'. ___ walked out and went. ___ called me as soon as school was over and told me what happened. Upon hanging my phone up; it began ringing again; this time it was Mr. Hebruch. He told me the exact same story as what my daughter had told me, but was very upset that she had 'told him that it was not legal to hold a child from going to the restroom and should not be allowed'. He went on to say that she was disrupting the class by asking. He said that they only way that he granted permission on teaching days were if it was an "emergency." I inquired, 'why did he not let her go as she told him that it was an emergency?' Teacher then told me that he did not appreciate ___ threatening the legality issue. I explained that she had heard this about one year ago. While my son, ___ was attending the same school he was in trouble for having a bowel movement and being tardy. I further explained that my son is 6 feet four inches and has 2-3 bowel movements a day and was being told that he was not allowed, either. He was coming home with feces in his underwear all the time. I took him to our family doctor and our doctor said that he had never heard anything like this before and had to write ___ a note to be able to have bowel movements at school. The family doctor then explained some of the physical complications that holding bodily wastes can cause and he asked how is a child supposed to be able to concentrate when he is in need to go to the restroom. I called the doctor and received a note to allow ___ to use the restroom."

January 25, 2006 (Oregon, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I have a daughter who is 17 years of age and in high school. She is only being allowed to use the restroom as follows: At the beginning of the year she is given two "potty passes" for the next six weeks. If she does not have any unexcused absences or unexcused tardies she is given one more pass for the next six weeks. At this time this is her only teacher that has this policy but after meeting with the vice-principal and the teacher I was told that my daughter is lucky because many other teachers have a much stricter policy. I am appalled, as both of my employers who both happen to be civil rights attorneys. So, I took both of them to the meeting with me, as my daughter's legal representation. This meeting was a waste of time. The school will not change the teacher's policy. The vice-principal told my daughter that if it was an emergency and she didn't have a pass, to just walk out of the teachers classroom "defying him" and go to the bathroom and then go to his office. He would decide that if it were the appropriate action for her to leave, he would back her up. But this leaves it open for him to also punish her if he feels otherwise. Therefore, we came to no conclusion. That same night I called my local television station and we were on the news. I have also contacted the local news papers and have an interview set up. My daughter went back to school today and students have come up to her telling her their experiences. I want this heinous abuse stopped and stopped now!"

(Follow up Letter Feb 1, 2006:) "You can view a copy of the clip at http://www.kptv.com/ it is located lower down on the page and highlighted in light blue. I will also scan a copy of the news article and e-mail it to you. I had a meeting with the principal of the school today that went very well and I think she is willing to try and change the teachers' policies. It looks good."

January 6, 2006 (New York, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My son goes to public school _ _#166.  He is often told no when he needs to use the bathroom.  I know that it shouldn’t be and would like to contact the appropriate person about it.  Help me please."

(Follow up January 13, 2005:) "I have since spoken to the vice principal of the school because I faxed the note from your website to them. She told me that 1st and 8th period kids are not allowed to go to the bathroom. But, if it's an emergency then the child will have to get up and walk out if a teacher is saying no and they sincerely must go. She also told me that she will let the teachers know to not say no to the child if one states they have an emergency.")

December 7, 2005 (Saskatchewan, Canada) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My teenaged daughters have told me about a practice that involves restricting access to bathrooms in their school and I would like to confront this issue by submitting a letter that has a copy of your article entitled “Forced Retention of Bodily Waste – The Most Overlooked Form of Child Maltreatment”, to the S__ Public School Board and to the Minister of Education for the Province of Saskatchewan.  If this fails to result in the termination of the practice in question then I would pursue the matter with the Saskatchewan Human Rights Commission. I hereby ask your permission to use your article for this purpose.  The article provides succinct and thorough coverage of the topic and I laud you for having written it."

November 21, 2005 (Ohio, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am the mother of an 11 year old boy and a 13 year old girl both of whom are currently enrolled at a local charter school.  This year the school has experienced vandalism in their restroom facilities as well as the teachers being extremely upset about finding a way to control the number of kids leaving their classrooms to use the restroom. They have instituted a policy that any child who asks to use the restroom during classroom time will be issued a detention. There are over 165 children enrolled in this school, they are given 4 minutes between classes to use the restroom, get supplies and such, however there are the minimal amount of facilities required by law in the building. I am wondering if this is a violation of law or their rights as human beings.  My son last week held himself for over 2 hours before he finally asked to go and was issued a detention. We spoke to the dean of discipline as well as the principal who said they would revisit the idea, then last Friday the Dean on Friday told my husband that the lunch time detention the children were receiving isn't really a detention they just have to go sit in a room rather than have lunch with their friends.  When my husband pointed out the fact that they were still singling out children for using the restroom he simply stated that their minds were made up.  It dumbfounds me it makes me wonder just who these people are in places of authority over our children.  It scares me, it truly does."

November 4, 2005 (Georgia, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My son simply asked to use the bathroom during an "undesignated time" and was refused permission to go by his teacher.  He then was told he if wanted to go he would have to take a silent lunch, be punished.  He had to go, so he went.  Upon his return to the classroom he did not sign the "silent lunch" referral - he felt he should not be punished for having to use the bathroom.  I agree.  In any event, I went to the school, and then to the superintendent ...  Needless to say, He is serving 2 silent lunches: 1 for bathroom usage, and 1 for not reporting to silent lunch for the bathroom use.  He is not a happy camper, nor am I.  I found  some information yesterday on the Georgia Department of Education website, listed under Georgia.gov. I inserted the word "bathroom" in the search block.  I read several articles, but one interested me most.  I printed this and sent it to our superintendent via fax.  I have not had a response as of yet."

Follow up 11/4/05: "I have managed to get the case in two newspapers and the school has had numerous phone calls from people. The toilets are open again so I think it will be best to let the matter lie. Thanks a lot!"

November 2, 2005 (North Carolina, USA) Letter to PTAVE:

"Please add my name to this petition and I have a question..... My daughter attends high school in _______ Co. and they are refusing her right to use the bathroom during class.  I have instructed her to leave the room anyway and she did but now they are trying to give her ASD for this. What rights do we have on this matter?  I am a new resident to NC from ___ and this was never an issue there."

October 25, 2005 (Sheffield, UK) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am a 23 year old uni student in Sheffield, UK. I came across your site while trying to find an answer on the internet to whether or not it is legal to lock the doors of the pupils' toilets in schools. At High Storrs School in the city I live in it is their policy to lock the doors to the toilets during lesson times, so that the kids have to get a key if they wish to go to the toilet. I am totally amazed that this is legal, as it leaves the system open to so much abuse. While researching this I found an article about a 15 year old girl in Huddersfield who was refused a key to her school toilets, and, because she had a stomach upset, decided to leave the building and go behind a bush. I have written to my MP and local council about the situation at my friend's school. What else can I do? I really think it would be useful if you could write them a letter,  as there are very few people out there who respect this as an issue.The school's head teacher is Liz Talmadge, and their address is: HIGH STORRS SCHOOL, HIGH STORRS RD, SHEFFIELD S11 7LH, United Kingdom."

October 24, 2005 (California, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am the mother of a six-year-old child who used to attend ______ Elementary School in _____, California. My son was enrolled in Mrs. __'s first grade class. On October 11, 2005, my child requested use of the bathroom facilities. Mrs. ___ denied his request. My child asked a second time explaining that he "really needed to go". Mrs. ___ denied his request a second time. As a result, my child was reduced to wetting his pants. I am appalled and extremely upset over this situation. My son has been publicly humiliated and denied a basic human right, by a person and an organization that I am supposed to trust with the care and health of my child during school hours. I called and spoke with the principle of the school, ___, that same day. She offered no apology, but could only tell me that, "all children say it's an emergency". I requested that my son be transferred from Mrs. ___'s classroom to another first grade classroom, in hopes that it would buffer some of the humiliation that my son was fearful of facing the following day. Ms. ___'s answer was no. She explained that there was no possible way that my son could be transferred. After the results of the phone call with Ms. ____ and the events of that day, I decided that ____ Elementary School was an unfit place for my child and I immediately sought alternatives.I have since then removed my son from the _______School District all together and placed him in a private school. I tried calling the school district to record a formal complaint, but received the run around. So today I wrote an email explaining the situation and my request for action. I sent my email to the superintendent of the _____ and to every one of it's board members. I am hoping that I will receive the response and action that I am looking for. If not I will continue to make noise until someone hears. I found your site and am relieved that I am not the only person that thinks restricting access to the bathroom is appalling and a form of child abuse. Thank you for the wealth of information and advice available on your website."

October 9, 2005 (California, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Please help us and allow us to use your site to copy letters for our use to win our right to allow bathroom use for our children and other children. We are in a battle with our Charter School in _____ California, over bathroom abuse by the school. This school is blatantly overboard. Children are not allowed to use the restrooms unless it is recess or lunch period. Even then they are only allowed 15 minutes for lunch and the last 15 minutes are to be used playing. All teachers including the principal are 100% behind denying of bodily functions.The children are told to use bathroom between classes. [There is] approximately 4 minutes to get books and be in the next class before the bell rings. There is not enough time (you guessed it, late for class[=] detention). Children are allowed to take 50 minute detention or receive 1 mark everytime they need to go in an 8 hour period. Last week a 2nd grader wet his pants in front of the class. He told his mother he did not want to get detention. We have a board meeting on the 18th of October. This meeting is to bring this bathroom policy to the attention of the School Board. All Detention is 50 minutes. The child has no right to ask why. If they question or ask why they are immediately given another 50 minutes detention. This includes K-8th. grades. The school has allowed a teacher to put out a letter using his insane reason for denying my child to use the bathroom and used me as a reference to get parents angry and against us for speaking out against the bathroom policy. The School used another teacher to call all the parents to undermine our request of an open meeting, which we were denied. The School has asked us to drop out. The school has used every resource to discriminate, harass, Intimidate us at every move, even threatened us about calling and informing other parents. We fear that retaliation against our children is very likely and causing a real concern to us. Our last resort is the 18th. of October. Should the School Board not listen to the obvious health reasons and cease this deplorable, reprehensible practice the we will have no other choice but to leave. I beg of you please help us. Our only goal is for our children to learn in a safe and healthy environment, and be free from worry."

October 4, 2005 (State Unknown) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My son is in the 6th grade. My husband and I were surprised that our son was getting lunch detention for having to go to the bathroom. None of his five teachers will let their students go to the restroom during class; if they need to go they have to serve lunch detention. Now my son tries his best to hold it. This makes me very upset that the school system does this to our children."

October 4, 2005 (Kansas, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Last week my son was given consequences of standing against the wall at recess because he had to go to the bathroom during music. I am uneasy with this and frankly felt it bordered on abuse. My son is adopted and had suffered much abuse in the biological home. He takes medications and drinks (or should drink) a lot of water. He doesn't always use the bathroom [on the teacher's schedule], and frequently the need comes on unexpectedly. I have concerns with things like his medicine and his kidneys and liver. I just don't think it is right for him to suffer after everything else that he has had to live with."

September 30, 2005 (Texas, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am writing from Houston, TX. I found your email while researching the side effects of a person not being allowed to use the bathroom. My daughter is 16 going to _______ High School.  Today she was late to class and had to go to 'sweeps' - they have 6 minutes between classes, in a school that houses over 3000 kids.  ______, my daughter, requested to use the bathroom and was told "there are no privileges in sweep", in a very nasty voice.  My daughter replied that she did not know that going to the bathroom was a privilege. At this point, she was ordered to the front of the room, whereas the teacher was writing her up and she now has received a two day in school suspension.  I contacted the assistant principal, who informed me that she needed to use the bathroom between classes. She did mention that 'many kids abuse the bathroom privileges', and I informed her that as ______ has a history of kidney issues, as well as blood in the urine in the past month, that she certainly should be allowed to use the bathroom, and that I was quite angry with the fact that she was denied her rights to use the bathroom.  Had she been allowed when she requested, she would not have had to defend herself, and therefore would not have received the two day in school suspension. I have received a note from _____'s doctor for future issues, but I do need any assistance to get the two day suspension, as well as any record of this, taken out of _____'s record. I would greatly appreciate if there is any help websites, agencies, etc, that you would be able to direct me to."


September 22, 2005 (Colorado, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I came across your website addressing concerns of not allowing children to go to the bathroom during school. We are have a difficult time getting our school to allow children to go whenever they have the need. I am so stressed and dumbfounded as to how this can be such a big issue with educators. Do you by chance have any words of advice as to how to solve this problem with our school? My first grade son has been told to put his hand down when he raises it to tell them he has to go to the bathroom. I am sensing a power struggle with the teacher and administration.  The teacher told us at back to school night that if the kids have to go during her classroom time then they are going on her time so then they must give her two minutes of their recess time if they have to go during class. I am hoping you might have some words of wisdom. I did show the school your website, but no luck. Any advice is greatly appreciated."

September 21, 2005 (Pennsylvania, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I have read with interest your article "Are Your Children Safe in School?" because I have a problem with my son's 4th grade teacher and bathroom breaks. Just this week my son has reported that he has to have a bowel movement in the afternoon each day.  The teacher does not deny the break but my son has to forfeit 5 minutes of his last recess (stand against the wall outside while the rest of the class plays). I am extremely upset about this. My son should not be punished because his bowels need to move! It is a basic need of life and to equate it with a punishment is wrong!  My husband spoke with the teacher last evening. Not much was accomplished other than my son will be monitored to see if this becomes a habit. Well, if my son's bowels are on a 1:00 pm schedule then I believe they should stay on that schedule. What can I do?  Should I speak with the head teacher or go straight to the top and speak with the principal?"

September 16, 2005 (Ohio, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My children attend ______ Elementary School in Macedonia Ohio. This school restricts the toilet "privileges" of every child in the school.  This is only my second year here, but my children tell me they are only allowed to use the bathroom 2 times per day.  Please help me with this situation."

September 9, 2005 (Florida, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My 5-year-old daughter started going to kindergarten a few weeks ago. One day she had to use the toilet during nap time and the teacher would not allow it. Being a shy, conforming child, she obeyed the order and had to "hold it in" until she came home. She is five. I and my husband were outraged. I asked the teacher and she said that she could not allow it because "if she gets up then everybody gets up." She said they were supposed to use the toilet BEFORE the nap time. My daughter explained to me that there were too many people in front of her in line that she did not get to use it then. (23 kids in the class, ONE toilet). I had told my daughter that under no circumstances will she "hold it" again. My instruction is, if she has to go she will go ahead use the bathroom no matter what. If unable to use the toilet she should go ahead and pee in her pants and I will always keep dry clothes in her backpack for change. I made sure that she knows that she would never have to worry about getting a "red mark" on her daily performance sheet because of using the toilet; we will ignore it. I cannot believe a teacher could do this to a young child and justify it as if it was a right thing to do. I was born in Asia where we had very strict rules in schools growing up. However, I had never heard of or encountered such inhumane treatment to a child. I still cannot believe this is happening in the "freest" country in the world. In the US we would fight for "humane rights' for people in other countries. We would fight for animal rights and send someone to jail for failing to feed their goldfish on vacation and we would deny our children of basic need of voiding the body waste? What is going on???"

September 8, 2005 (Texas, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My child is in the third grade in Nederland, TX. She pulls strips that result in negative marks in conduct when she spends (according to her teacher) 'too much time' in the bathroom. It is not uncommon for her to spend five to ten minutes in the restroom. She has done this ever since I can remember. She is being watched by her doctor because she has had severe pain in the past caused by urine backing up close to her kidneys. The doctor is a little worried because damage to a young person's kidneys is very serious. She is borderline surgery at this point; he is hoping she will out grow it. Punishing my kid for spending time that is needed for her to use the restroom is hard for me. I don't think I can deal with this school. My older son had to be put on a laxative for a year because he was not allowed to use the restroom when needed and developed an enlarged opening just past his rectum. Please help, schools and teachers like this need to be held accountable."

September 7, 2005 (New York, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I live in New York State and today my child had her first day as a sophomore in high school. This evening she presented me with a printed page of three bathroom passes that were provided to each student in her Earth Science class and explained their use. Each child is given three free bathroom passes per month. They do have opportunities to earn more but, more importantly, if the passes are not used during the month they can be turned in the child will receive an extra point on their grade!!! I would like permission to share information with the teacher of this class that is on this website. May I print any of it? Or should I refer her to the website itself? I would like to be certain that she reads this material. My child also informed me that she does not use the bathrooms at school due to the poor conditions and she will purposely not drink anything the whole day because using the bathroom is such a problem in all classes. She explained that each of her new teachers gave their own bathroom use policy and one just plainly said that they need to schedule their bathroom issues for any time other than his class and that if they left his class for any reason that they would be required to come back after the school day had ended to make the time up doubled. This was her chorus class!! Please advise me of how I can use the resources on the website...Thank you!"

September 7, 2005 (California, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I have two children, 2nd and 6th grade who recently started a new K-8 California school. Tonight, my 10-year-old tells me he is not allowed to use the bathroom AT ALL during class time and there is no time between classes. They receive one "$1" bill from their homeroom teacher EACH WEEK to save up for treats later on. If they have to use the bathroom, they must pay a "$1" bill. If they have none, they get detention. If they want to use the water fountain in the classroom they must likewise pay a "$1" bill and again if they have used their "$1" for the week they get no water, or get detention for taking a drink! My son has been having bladder cramps and has been feeling sick due to this. He generally drinks a lot of water, as I have always encouraged and is only healthy.Question- do you have any referrals or CA or Supreme Court case law references? I would so much appreciate it!"

(Follow up September 14, 2005) "Your site is wonderful and was very helpful to me. I first approached the school and spoke with a very unhelpful vice-principal, who referred me to two of my sons' teachers. One  was willing to make an exception for my son only and the second wouldn't even listen to me. I didn't bother talking to the others and wrote a letter directly to our District Superintendent after doing a lot of research. After I wrote to our Superintendent, he called me, we had a long talk and then he faxed my letter to the school. The vice-principal tried very hard to derail me again. However, I was finally able to meet with the Principal (when my calls were not returned, I went to the school and waited until she was available).  I was able to resolve the issue and school policies will change effective next Monday! I though my letters might be helpful to you, so I attached them. I still cannot believe there is such an issue with bathroom and hydration rights our country's schools. It is absolutely appalling!"

September 6, 2005 (Pennsylvania, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My son who is in 7th grade at Haverford Middle School in Haverford Township, PA is not being allowed to utilize the bathrooms. The children have only 4 minutes to get to each class. If they do not go [to the bathroom during that time] they are tormented with the pain of sitting there and holding it. If they are late they get into trouble. If they come to class and ask to use the bathroom before the bell rings [the teacher] will not allow it. This is uncalled for. This is an abuse towards my child as well as [of the other] children. They cannot even get a drink of water on a hot day when the school has no air conditioning. Help me, please inform me of my rights or any legal action that I may take against the teachers who in my mind are abusing my child. My son's rights as well as others are being taken away from them. This is an education facility, not a prison. Please give me advice on how to fix this problem. Or, can anyone look into this matter and investigate this?"

August 14, 2005 (Tennessee, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My child is a student at _______ Middle School in _______, Tennessee. She does not have any bathroom rights. If the students need to use the bathroom they must go in between the class changes and if they are late for class then they get a tardy slip. Also, she only gets 15 minutes for lunch and no recess time. She is in the 6th grade. What can be done about this?"

August 9, 2005 (Tennessee, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I wanted to tell you that I found your website after my child had been denied the right to go to the bathroom today at school. This was the first day of school and my son asked the teacher if he could go to the bathroom. The teacher said he 'only let girls go since their bathroom was close to the room'. After about 20 minutes, my son could not hold it any more and started to have an accident... The teacher finally gave him a pass to go to the restroom. My son had to go search the restroom down and in the process wet his pants. He is 12 years old and in 7th grade, first day in this middle school. No one showed them the bathrooms in orientation! He then went to the office, very embarrassed... They sent him to the guidance counselors office, and he called me in tears. I went to get him and after the principal apologized and said it never should have happened, I said that I don't know if we will be back. I then went to the school board and requested that he be allowed to go to another zone for school. I spoke with the superintendent. He also apologized and to me and to my son. We went and enrolled in another school this afternoon. I can't believe this is allowed to go on in the school system. I feel that it is a form of child abuse!"

(Follow up August 19, 2005): "(My son) started a new school here. Before he started, I spoke with the principal and assistant principal and let them know what happened. I also took my attorney with me. This is a terrible injustice for children and I just think about the kids it happens to that do not have anyone to take their side and speak up...Very upsetting."

July 27, 2005 (England) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I happened to come across your page this morning as an incident happened to my 11 year old daughter yesterday at school where she was denied being allowed to use the toilet during lesson time as a result she ended up wetting herself and I am furious about this. When I spoke to her year head he told me he could only apologise for this terrible incident, to me this is not acceptable as the damage has already been done. My daughter refused to go to school today as she said she felt embarrassed, dirty and disgusting. We have had nothing but tears since the incident and it breaks my heart because I can not do anything to ease the hurt and pain she is feeling. I am particularly concerned as my 22 month old has only just come out of hospital after suffering with a urinary tract infection and now we face tests in a few months time to see if there is any damage to her kidneys. I have to say I was amazed to read just what can happen when a person is forced to 'hold on'. Do schools not realize just what serious medical conditions can arise by preventing children from doing something which is a natural thing?. Words just can not describe the anger I feel and I have told my daughter that in future if she needs to go to the toilet and the teacher won't let her then she is to just leave the classroom and we will deal with the consequences later."

June 24, 2005 (California, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Are there specific laws protecting the rights of children to use the bathroom during class time?"

June 21, 2005 (Massachusetts, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My son just informed us yesterday, (two days before the end of the school year), that he never goes to the bathroom at school. We asked him again today and he said he has gone in to wash his hands at the scheduled time but not to relieve himself because he doesn't have to go at that time. His teacher has a system that permits the students to use the bathroom during a scheduled break before snack time in the morning before lunch. Any bathroom use after that, aside from lunch and recess time, results in a five minute loss of recess time per visit. If a student receives a five minute penalty they must stand against a wall for that time period during recess while the others play around them or they spend the time in a classroom with their head on a desk. We as parents spend the first years of our children's development rewarding them for using the toilet and now they are being punished for it in school! This situation is no less than tragic to me and I feel I have let my son down by allowing this to happen. He only has a half day tomorrow and he is done for the summer but my wife and I both plan on pursuing this matter so that no other child has to endure the trauma of adhering to a bathroom 'schedule'. Thank you for your help, your website is a wonderful tool."

June 17, 2005 (Rhode Island, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My 2 daughters, ages 11 and 7 are in a supervised visitation situation with their father --court ordered. Now they have brought a therapist into the visits. The 11 year old asked once during the visit to go to the bathroom and was told 'no' by the therapist. My daughter gets very nervous and feels she has to go. Therapist said, "you use the bathroom as a way to get out of the visit, you can hold it"....and made her wait 10 minutes while she was crying and in pain from having to hold it!"

(Follow up August 19, 2005:) "I got a note from the pediatrician that states that my daughter gets nervous bladder when stressed and should be allowed to use the bathroom as needed... They now allow her to, but make her "make up" the time by staying later! The whole situation has become a punitive instead of therapeutic one."

June 16, 2005 (State Unknown) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I was thinking that maybe you could put something on your website about schools that handle the bathroom use issue the right way. It could sort of be like an example for other schools to follow. My daughter's high school is one such school that respects students' right to use the bathroom when they need it. In each class, each teacher keeps a sign-out book by the door. If a student has to go, they don't even have to ask permission. They just quietly get up, sign their name in the book with the time they are leaving, go to the nearest bathroom, return to class and sign in with the time they return. Its a very simple system that ensures that class is not disrupted and that students can use the bathroom when they need it. With minimal effort on the part of the teachers, the school has a complete record of who was out of the classroom when. Also, you'll never hear the teachers or administration refer to bathroom 'privileges'. If students use the passes for other things, they are punished. But they are never punished with denial of the right to use the bathroom and certainly they don't punish the whole school with denial of bathroom rights. They don't force people to sit in class, endangering their health by holding it in and risking the embarrassment of having an accident..."

June 2, 2005 (Pennsylvania, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My brother was placed in a school suspension for something he says he did not do and missed the baseball game to qualify for States during his Senior year. This, however unjust, this is not the issue. While he was in suspension he was not given a lunch all day or given a chance to use the restroom. I am not sure if this violates any laws, but my dad is going into the school tomorrow morning. If you receive this please let me know."

May 25, 2005 (North Carolina, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My son is in Pre-K and he had this terrible problem today at school. He went to the restroom and had a bowel movement, he thought he was finished and started to wipe, then he felt he needed to use the toilet again so he did and he left while walking to his class alone. The teacher left with the rest of the class he felt the need again, but this time he got an accident. It was diarrhea so he went into the classroom and told the teacher what just happened. She told him she was not going to clean him and she didn't help at all. My little boy was at school with his bottom all wet, dirty inside like (a) baby with (a) diaper for two hours. The teacher made him stay dirty during nap and snack time and ride the bus back home like that. I don't understand how things like this can happen. Why wouldn't she contact me? Why do they ask for a change of clothes if they won't use it? I would really appreciate if you can give any advice of where can I report this problem other than the school or any that could be helpful. I thank you in advance for your help, and forgive my spelling."

May 23, 2005 (South Carolina, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org

"This story is a little different from the stories on your website, but in my opinion just as important. My daughter is a 13 year old in 7th grade in ______, SC. She asked to be excused on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 in her language arts class. Her teacher yelled at her and told her no - to go sit down. My daughter is a good student and does not abuse her rest room (rights). She went back to her seat, tearfully, and bled through her clothes and continued to bleed on my car seat when I picked her up from school. She was humiliated since other students had noticed the blood on her pants. My husband and I talked to the principal and he apologized and said he would take it up with the teacher in question. The next morning I received a terse phone call from the teacher with an explanation that she was busy and my daughter should have asked her a second time to use the rest room. I told the teacher there was no excuse for her not allowing my child to be excused. This was a humiliating experience for a 13 year old girl. My husband told the teacher that she needed to apologize to my daughter and the class for her actions, since my daughter is not the only child that has been denied bathroom access. The teacher apologized to my daughter by telling her the same thing she told me; "You should have asked me again, I was busy and you should not have let this happen. I'm sorry." She denied a rest room pass to a boy at the beginning of the class on the same day she was to apologize to my daughter! I had another conversation with the principal and he told me he would resolve this matter. I also want student rights to be explained to parents and students at the beginning of school. They have a handbook that deals with school rules that pertain to student infractions and the consequences, but nothing that tells students of their rights."

May 21, 2005 (Ohio, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"THANK YOU ...THANK YOU ....THANK YOU!!! You saved many children in our school district tons of aggravation, embarrassment, physical ailments and pain. I love you. I also need advice or sites pertaining to HOW to punish a bully properly! Another area in our school system that needs improved upon."

May 20, 2005 (Ohio, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"We are presently having a problem about the bathroom (rights) at our elementary school and it's great to have your site to get information. Thanks for your work!"

May 18, 2005 (California, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I was wondering if you can give me an advice regarding our problem with the bathroom policy at our son's school. My son goes to a private school in Newark, CA. He is in kindergarten. He's at school from 8am to 3pm. The school has a bathroom policy for every grade K-8. Punishment varies from grade to grade. My son's class policy is that they can only go to the bathroom during recess or lunch time. If they go during class time their name will be written on the 'sad board'. (Your name is written on the 'sad board' if you did something wrong). I found out about this bathroom policy late last year because my son's name was put on the sad board. He told me that he went to the bathroom during class time so his name was put on the sad board. My son was upset and I was upset because I didn't think this was right. I spoke to the teacher about it and she said that they have to teach them 'bathroom discipline' so that it didn't interrupt the class. I told her that I'm afraid my son will have an accident due to this policy. She assured me that if my son needed to go to the bathroom she will know by his movements. So I didn't argue and left it at that. In January my son had wet his pants after lunch and was soaked with pee for over an hour. I was so upset at the teacher because she didn't even know he was wet until I told her. The teacher said that my son knew to go to the bathroom if he needs to. Which is not the case. He only knew that he will be on the sad board if he used the bathroom. So he held his pee until he wet his pants and didn't want to tell the teacher because he will be in trouble. I spoke to the principal about it and her reply was that they need to teach them 'bathroom discipline to prepare them for higher grades'. I disagreed with her and told her they can't do that at such a young age. I suggested that they line the kinders' 5 mins. before class and ask them if they need to go to the bathroom. Since they have no concept of time. She said that would be too hard to do. Last week my son was put on detention after school for the same reason. He used the bathroom during music class. I was very upset and didn't bother discussing it with the teacher. I called the principal and told her this needs to stop. I couldn't get her to agree to change the policy or just get rid of it. So I called my sons' doctor and discussed the situation with her. She agreed with me and wrote me a note to give to the school. The bathroom rule is still in force for the rest of the children (not for my child I assume because of the doctor's note). Because of the actions I have taken this became a little war between me and the school. I don't know what else to do. I just want them to stop this bathroom policy."

May 18, 2005 (New Hampshire, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Today I got a phone call from the school telling me that a discipline slip was coming home, because my son was screaming across the room at the teacher to use the bathroom and then he left the room without permission. I thought for sure that there must be more to the story. When the slip came home, this is what it read- written by the teacher- '_______ stood across the room yelling to me three times if he could go to the bathroom. I did not answer him because I was helping other students at my desk and he knows it is rude to stand across the room and yell to me because we have had that discussion before. So he took it upon himself to just get up and leave without my permission.' -- For this he has 3 days of restriction to the pass room and has to stay there for lunch as well. When I asked my son what happened he wrote: 'I had to go to the bathroom so I yelled to Ms. __, "Can I go to the bathroom?" No response. I said it twice more, still no response. I started to get frustrated, then ____ asked the same question as I did, Ms. ___ answered him, "Yes", so he went to the bathroom. So I waited for him to come back and I decided just to go and not bother to ask again. When I got out of the bathroom, ____ told me that I was in trouble for leaving Ms. __'s class. When I walked in, Ms. __ told me to go see her and she gave me the discipline slip and told me to bring it down to the office and see the Asst. Principal...' I spoke to the special education director today on the phone about my son being punished for getting up to go to the bathroom when the teacher admittedly ignored him. She, of course, sided immediately with the teacher, even though she had only the discipline slip to base her decision on. This is so typical of the way they operate. It really is terrible that I have to wonder what my son will be subjected to when he goes to school. It is always his word against the teacher, and the teacher will always win."

May 17, 2005 (Louisiana, USA), Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I found your article while searching for resources to take to my child's school to show the reasons why my child shouldn't be denied access to the bathroom. I have repeatedly told the teacher that my child has frequent UTI's and bladder spasms. It seems they still don't want to listen."

(Follow up May 18, 2005:) "I went to the school today with a letter from the doctor; the teacher denied that she had been informed of my child's medical condition. Hopefully this will be the last of this problem at least for this school year which ends in July."

May 5, 2005 (Michigan, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I have a 7 year old daughter who attends public school in Hazel Park, Michigan. A little over 2.5 months ago she was told she could not use the bathroom after lunch. The teachers reasoning for this was that she had "already gone 3 times that morning". In my daughter's class room, at their desks, they are allowed to have a water bottle. I fill one up for my child every day and send her off to school with it. I also pack her 1, sometimes 2 juice boxes or give her money to buy milk at lunch time. I happed to be sick on this particular day and my mother went to pick her up after school. Upon her leaving the school and getting into my mother's car, she wet her pants. She was very embarrassed and sad at the fact that this happened to her. When she got home she was very upset and crying. She told me what had happened and what was told to her. I immediately got on the phone and demanded to speak to her teacher. I was sick and hurt that my child had to go through this, so I was not very nice to the teacher. But after our conversation, I thought that we were on the same page: My daughter was not to be told she could not go to the bathroom. I even made an appointment to speak to the principal to insure this. I was told that she would talk to the teacher and that there would not be any further problems. I also stated to the principal that NO child should ever be told that they cannot go to the bathroom. If a teacher notices a pattern, it is her responsibility to report it to the child's parents allowing them to determine if the child has a medical problem or is just getting out of class. Well, it was just yesterday that my daughter informed me, just before her bed time, that it happened again. It was at the hands of a "paraprofessional". This aid would not let my daughter go to the bathroom because a girl had just went before her and took over 16 minutes. The Paraprofessional asked my daughter why she was upset, and my daughter not wanting to say out loud that she wet her pants, whispered. Then the paraprofessional made my daughter say it out loud and her classmates heard and laughed at her. I immediately called the Board office and demanded to speak to the Asst. Super. of the schools, making sure to follow the chain of command. I did this but still I am not satisfied. If this is happening to my daughter I wonder how many other children this has or will happen to. I was trying to find some information on-line so that I can actually go into our board office and actually speak with either the assistance or the superintendent. That is when I found your web site. THANK YOU. I was also going to call my pediatrician to see if she had any documentation on the problems that can occur from holding your urine. I know first hand some of the problems that holding your urine can to. My youngest had bladder reflux. I have copied several pages of your web site and plan to bring this to the attention of the school board and even parents. I agree, children should have the RIGHT to go to the bathroom when they need to!"

April 29, 2005 (Louisiana, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Throughout my school years I can remember a couple of teachers who would not let anyone use the restroom. I guess it was not that big of a deal to me until today. I picked up my four year old son from Pre-K and he told me that he had an accident. I thought that maybe he went while took a nap, and I told him that it was ok. That's when he told me what happened. He said that he was at recess and told the teacher that he had to use the bathroom and she said, "Oh well". He said that he could not hold it in anymore and he used the bathroom on himself. The teacher then asked him if he went in his pants and he said "yes". She responded "oh well" again. She did not call me to get dry clothes. My embarrassed four year old walked around school for three hours with wet pants."

April 29, 2005 (Belgium) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I live in Belgium and I had complete success with the school. They were very responsive. The words on your site are very convincing and serious. And I am the lucky that our school is actually very concerned with children's rights. They had quite innocently employed a 5-points per day system to discourage kids from going [to the bathroom] during class, without realizing that some kids (like my daughter) were feeling so guilty and ashamed to get one point that she was in pain before she asked to go. Although they had never expressly told her she couldn't go, she felt as though she was "not allowed" to. When I pointed these things out [the school was] more than happy to stop the point system immediately. More parents need to speak out. I find it very hard to believe in the year 2005 that practices from our own, or our parent's days still go on in schools. And they will continue if you do not speak out. The problem, even for educated parents such as we are, is that we are taught to respect authority, without question. Thinking that these trained teachers should know what they're doing, it is difficult to face the school and ask, is this right??? But I cannot emphasize enough that as a parent you must find the courage to question what you really believe is wrong or harmful. Find the courage for your children! Thanks again, Good luck with the website!"

April 14, 2005 (Maryland) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Today, my first grader had an accident at school. His story: he was at PE playing T-ball. He asked the teacher if he could go to the restroom. Teacher said "not now". My son said that there is a rule about going to the bathroom at "specials" (PE, art, music). He ended up having a bowel movement in his pants! As he returned to class, his regular teacher, and some students, realized that he had an accident. He was sent to the nurse to clean up. My son is a very well behaved student; never a report about disrupting class or playing in the bathrooms. I am so mad about this. I don't know what to do. Should I go to the school and confront the teacher? Principal? What do I do? Please help!"

April 6, 2005 (Kentucky, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I was wondering if maybe you can help us. My son is 12 years old and denied toilet use at school about a month ago, he wet his pants he could not hold it any longer. We did not get a call from the school all day (they did give him a change of clothes) until about 4:00 p.m. It happened early in the school day at 11:40a.m. We did not find out from them, we found out when he came home from school and had on different clothes. When I asked what happened to his clothes and he told us what happened we were very upset. We called the school. My husband had words and the teacher said it would not happen again. Well yesterday, my son asked to go to the rest room and the same teacher told him no! My son got mad then the teacher told him to go ahead or you will wet in your pants like the last time and then the teacher started laughing. This should not be excepted at ANY SCHOOL. What can we do or where do we go to get this matter under control? Any advice will be appreciated."

April 6, 2005 (Mississippi) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I just wanted you to know that I have really been helped by your web site. It has given me numerous resources and help in tackling the problems of teachers refusing to allow children to use the restroom. I was faced with this problem a week ago. My daughter's teacher refused to allow her to use the restroom. This teacher only allows her class to use the restroom once a week and after that they have used up their restroom "priviledges", as she called it. Anyway, my daughter had asked the teacher 3 times if she could use the restroom. The teacher replied "no" all three times. So my daughter walked out of the room in excruciating pain and went to use the restroom. When she returned the teacher gave her detention for walking out of the classroom. Boy was I mad! I had told my daughter before that if the teacher refused to allow her to go to the restroom, then she had my permission to walk out if she absolutely needed to. I set up a meeting with the principal, teacher and the counselor to get to the bottom of this. Guess what? The teacher had to leave because she was in excruciating pain from kidney stones! How ironic could this have been? The very same thing that she was refusing my child the need to do was very same problem that she is faced with on the day of the conference. Now don't you think this is all the more reason for her to allow children the freedom to use the restroom because of the need to do so and to prevent future health problems? I told the principal and the counselor that what happened to her is not what I want to happen to my child and that she needs to change her attitudes and rules concerning the use of restrooms. After I talked with the principal and the counselor, we came to the conclusion that my daughter can use the restroom when ever she feel the need to do so. And I expressed to my daughter that she is not to use the restroom for socializing. Thanks for hearing me out. I hope others who are having these same problems would do as I have done and just don't allow our children to be intimidated by these so called rules that goes against our God-given needs."

March 11, 2005 (Pennsylvania, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My son who is 9 had to go to the bathroom in school. His teacher would not let him go, so he had an accident which was very embarrassing to him. I talked to the teacher. I got no apology, just that they would let him out of school earlier so the other students don't see him. I walk and met him; he looked so ashamed! What should I do about this? He never did this before, not even in headstart- please help me."

March 11, 2005 (Kentucky, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am Australian, now residing in America. I have raised 3 of my 5 children in the Australian school system, a far better system than what we American’s have. It saddens me to send my children to school here. My 9 year old daughter who has had major surgery on her kidney and bladder has been denied bathroom breaks. Class starts at 8am, she must wait until lunch to use the restroom. I have sent a letter to the school stating I will not stand for this. If parents had a choice as to what school to send their children then maybe the schools would work harder to be student friendly. Maybe then schools would do more for their students in order to keep them, rather than being able to do as they like knowing parents don't have a choice unless they move. If this is the land of the free, why do I feel so restricted in my choices?"

March 8, 2005 (Wisconsin, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My son is in 9th grade, he has had 3.5 of unexcused days, and about nine tardys which ALL occured between classes. One of the days that was marked unexcused was because a substitue teacher refused my son bathroom use and he soiled himself. He went home to change and called me. I called the school and said he would not be returning and I would not take him to the doctor for an excuse, as it is the policy of the school to have an excuse from a doctor in order to have an EXCUSED absense. Now the principal filed a JIPS, Juvenile in need of Protective Services. Not only have I taken many days to get an excuse for the school as he has severe asthma, but now I am forced to got to court and to psychologists. My son has never been late or skipped school, the occurances are between classes for the tardys and the truancys are because I did not take him to the doctor. I am at my witts end as my job is at stake over this."

February 21, 2005 (Ohio, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I have a 10th grader at _______ High School in ________, Ohio that has been given a week's punishment for using the bathroom. She was told by me (her mother) that if she does in fact get refusal from her study hall monitor, I gave her permission to get up and go. I removed my daughter from school last year for the same reason. She suffers from Endometriosis and has heavy, unexpected bleeding as well as frequent urination. She has had surgery and also suffered from a painful and "bleeding" UTI recently. What do I do to protect her from this problem? The study hall is given to the students to study and take care of whatever issues they need to at that time. Instead the ________ High School study hall monitor insists on punishing the students she watches over. Students have resorted to urinating in trash cans and my daughter has been ill on a frequent basis this year. I even had her Gynocologist write the school a letter last year explaining the reason for my daughter having to go to the restroom when she feels the need. I am considering involving the law! The school will punish the kids for going to the restroom, for listening to their own physicians and parents. The school does not own these kids and the teachers go to the bathroom when they feel the urge. From what I have read through this advocacy site, my daughter is being abused and it is a form of child maltreatment. Help!"

February 7, 2005 (Virginia, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"Hi, My daughter recently got an in-school suspension because she walked out of a class AFTER she was done her exam. The teacher knew before the test started that she