Personal Stories of People Who Suffered Forced Retention of Bodily Waste As Children

The following are personal accounts from people who report that they experienced forced retention. Some of these respondents report that the retention torture that they endured caused them to develop health problems or urolagnia paraphillias (sexual fetishes involving urine retention and expulsion). Please note that some of these letters are very disturbing. The accounts are excerpted from people who have responded to ChildAdvocate.org, or who have been interviewed. For the protection of the respondents, all identities will remain confidential. (ChildAdvocate.org reserves the right to edit letters for grammatical purposes).

August 28, 2005 (Arizona, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am a twelve year old who lives in Arizona, where it is very hot and people die from dehydration! I just started 7th grade and one of my teachers will not let me or other students use the bathroom. She makes us wait until the end of the period, which is 68 minutes, we are in pain and almost ready to urinate in our pants. My mom sends two bottles of water with me and that is not enough for the whole day. I go to school from 8:55 to 3:55 and with those long hours and our weather the way it is I drink a lot of water. My teacher told me to tell my mom NOT to pack as much water and then I won't have to go to the bathroom as much!"

July 26, 2005 (Utah, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

(A 21 year old young man writes:) "I noticed your site about kids having accidents, in their pants, in school, because the teacher wouldn't let them (use the toilet). I am 21 years old. I think that I might want to be a teacher at an elementary school, for 1st grade. If the school that I decide to work at, has a very strict bathroom policy, I will have the school board remove it. Those types of schools should be fined a whole lot of money for not letting the kids go to the bathroom, at all, or very little. I do not have any kids, of my own. I am single, and living with my parents. I do not want my kids to go to those schools. I would have them go to school, where they are allowed to use the bathroom, anytime they want. When I was in school, none of my schools had that problem, but when I was in 1st grade, I peed my pants in school, several times, and the school got mad at me for not going to the bathroom. If there are any members of any school district boards, who are reading this web site, who has strict bathroom rules, remove the rules, and let the kids go!"

June 17, 2005 (Massachusetts, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

(A young woman writes:) "I am only one of many, I bet, who are grateful to you and your website for making speakable the topic of childhood bathroom restriction, and for validating it as intensely abusive and traumatic. I attended first grade under a teacher I now recognize to have been positively sadistic--she was unpredictable and her punishments vicious and bizarre, particularly when it came to bodily functions. Lunchtime was a nightmare, as 5- and 6- year olds were forced to eat beyond their fill or food they disliked, causing more than one student to publicly vomit. In the afternoon, lessons ran for 3 hours without a break, and asking to use the bathroom earned you an immediate punishment paper. I was absolutely terrified of this woman, of being "bad" or punished and especially of having my bodily needs made public, as the teacher would often humiliate the asker in front of the class. The prospect of wetting or soiling myself in front of everyone (and "in front of everyone" was no exaggeration--I remember a classmate positively screaming crying, ultimately wetting her pants as we all looked on in horror, and another day in which a student was literally sniffed out as having soiled himself, the teacher pulling down his pants and cursing at him) terrified me to a degree you can't imagine. I began to use the bathroom compulsively--first at school, "trying" multiple times every lunch break or recess, then at home too. I didn't tell my parents anything of what happened at school--first, I was too ashamed and second, I'm not sure I entirely believed that this situation was abnormal, or that I was not somehow at fault. The compulsion gradually worsened until I was using the bathroom every hour to hour-and-a-half, until I needed to try to urinate 5 or 6 separate times before I could sleep, and until I could not tolerate even the slightest twinge of urine in my bladder. Although I am sure they did not mean it, my parents worsened the situation--after ruling out a bladder infection or other physical cause, they became angry and embarrassed by my continuing behavior and the obvious restrictions it caused in my life, and they attempted all sorts of reasoning and discipline, even to the point of physically restraining me from using the bathroom. But I would cry, fight, lie, sneak, and basically do anything to be able to get to the bathroom and once again make absolutely sure I was empty. Only when I was totally empty did I feel safe. I suffered from this compulsion from the age of six until I began middle school, when it only gradually began to abate. It absolutely crippled my early life long after the first grade was over. Only in adulthood, with much therapy, was I finally able to discuss any of this and address the lingering depression, anxiety, and shame. I still have difficulty relating to my bodily functions in a fully 'normal' way, and not being afraid to travel where bathrooms may not be immediately available. I am particularly grateful to you and those who have written in for being brave enough to discuss the sexual side-effects that can also emerge from this sort of abuse. I also find myself attracted to masochistic fantasies of forced holding or wetting; fetish behavior that I know is linked to the sadness and shame of what in childhood was unspoken and unspeakable. You are 100% right--these neglected forms of child abuse MUST be talked about and MUST stopped. Laurie, I am truly grateful for your work."

May 24, 2005 (State Unknown) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

(A 12-year old boy writes:) "My name is _______ and I am 12 years old. I read your website's student rights articles and the one about using the toilet as a right but not a privilege, I thought that they were great and I am wondering if I can use the student bill of rights and use it if a teacher is violating them. I am planning to take them aside respectfully of course and show them my rights and simply explain that he/she is violating one of them, in most cases the "you cant use the bathroom" and hopefully gain not only the cooperation of he/she to let me go {willingly} but gain respect and show he/she that I do take my rights seriously. I will be honest I am not a trouble maker but to my friends I'm a outgoing funny but to some teachers I want to be treated as a equal human who is allowed to use my rights. I have used the first amendment (freedom of speech ect.) once and what I said was not in any way unacceptably disrespectful but it was bold and I was happy to see when my teacher was talking to me I slipped in the 1st amendment, though she stopped punishing me she said yes the 1st amendment but what about respect. I am looking to be a lawyer because I already use laws to my advantage and I am quite good at it too. I have a slight photographic memory so it helps to remember them."

May 6, 2005 (Toronto, Ontario) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am a grade 8 student at a school in Toronto, Ontario. I and four others have been banned from using the school bathroom facilities within class hours for the remainder of the year(around 3 months). There have been two situations in which I asked to use the bathroom, was denied the “privilege”, had to use the bathroom very badly, and left without permission. One of the times I was almost suspended another, my parents were contacted. I am looking for any advice you could offer me pertaining to this situation. Thank you 4 your time."

April 15, 2005 (Georgia, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

(A woman writes:) "I guess it would seem that people are unaware of the fact that some children are born with bladders that aren't programmed to wait. I was one of those children. There were two events in my childhood that pointed me in the direction anger for indifference to toilet "privileges". As a student of the third grade I was told not to go to the restroom during lunch. I had a diagnosed bladder control issue. I wet my pants while sitting at the lunch table. I was mortified. As a student of 9th grade I was served with a day of detention for going to the restroom "with" permission. I was told I could go and upon my return received a detention slip. Children are constantly abused at the hands of people who do not have a clue or compassion. To teach a child to wait so long is not only cruel but damaging to their bladders in the long run. I am so glad that I found there are other people who have cried out on behalf of this problem. I still have issues that are not correctable with my bladder and I would defend anyone on this point in hopes of preventing them from ever having damage done that makes them face the issues I have faced all my life. Wearing pads daily for correction of a problem that could have been prevented is not a solution."

April 15, 2005 (Location Unknown) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I am a student in a Jewish Private School. Yesterday, there was a huge emergency assembly on the vandalism in the bathrooms. During this assembly they had said that with no mercy they will lock the bathrooms. One day later - Today, there was another assembly- I can not say much about it because I had not gone to it. But from what I had heard, they said that they have locked down the bathrooms, and if a student wants to go, they must have a pass from a teacher allowing them. That seems alright - correct? But no. The bathroom they are allowing us to use is a room the size of a child's closet with one toilet. This is for 200 girls. Is this allowed?"

April 10, 2005 (Location Unknown) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"To be blunt, anytime a child says he has to go to the bathroom, he or she should be allowed to go. I remember one time when I was in seventh grade at my middle school, a teacher refused to let a girl go to the bathroom because she had used her one bathroom break a class, and she basically shit all over the seat she was in because she had such bad diarrhea that she couldn't wait until after class to go to the bathroom. And at the time, diarrhea was not a "good enough reason" to go to the nurse; it was written right in our school's handbook that they handed out at the beginning of the year. The problem with having regimented bathroom breaks is that not everyone processes food at the same rate, some children can go for 5 hours without a bathroom break, while others need one every hour or less or they will be peeing in their pants. The PTA got on the teacher's case after the girl's case and made the school system change their policies to include diarrhea as a reason to go to the nurse's office. Teachers are not doing these things to children in order to keep class civility and order, they are doing them to punish the children for something that is out of their control, namely their involuntary bodily functions, like digestion."

February 11, 2005 (Arkansas, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"My name is ________ and I'm a 14 yrs old and I go to Arkansas public school. Occasionally I need to go (to the bathroom) during class time and my teacher will not let me go to the bathroom without missing my lunch or missing my activity period. I will show the info (on this site) to my teacher and that could possibly help get her to lighten up so that I could do a natural needed process."

February 2, 2005 (Minnesota, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

(Teenage girl writes:) "Hello-- my name is ________ and I'm writing an article for my school's newspaper, the Rebel Times. I'm writing about passes (bathroom, lunch, and vehicle) with one of my topics geared toward how teachers give students a limited number of bathroom passes. This problem still occurs at my school and some students are punished for using the bathroom such as staying a minute late for every minute they've wasted class time using the restroom or just not allowed to go at all. It says that I need approval from the author before I'm able to use this information. It would be very much appreciated if I'm able to and I will site Childadvocate.org as the source along with any statistics. Thank you."

(Follow up: February 10, 2005:) "Hello- Sorry for all the emails and if you're busy then don't worry about responding. I just thought I would let you know about it. I interviewed my assistant principal and for my last question I asked him: "Are you aware that children who are forced to retain bodily waste is a form of pain infliction which can be argued under the statute of corporal punishment, which is illegal in Minnesota?" His response was flustered, but he said, 'I believe that is very farfetched and would be hard to argue'. He says it depends on how long the time of "withholding" was and so on. So, was it a hard argument to make? I mean, he was against using passes as punishment, but wouldn't that make him a hypocrite? I don't know. I just got done with the interview and it made me frustrated, but I'm still working on it. My journalism teacher is gone today so I didn't get the chance to talk to him about it."

(Follow up letter: May 14, 2005) "Hey - I was looking at your comic (The Hypocrisy Chronicles) with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and we were just learning about that in psychology. It's ironic that on that same day when I asked to use the restroom my psychology teacher said "No" and that she wouldn't let anyone leave. (She does believe a student needs to drink a bottled size water per class period - so when am I allowed to use the restroom??) Anyways, well I sat back down in my desk flustered because I've never gone against what a teacher has said. There were a couple of kids who were asking her 'Hey, didn't you read her article?' It was obvious she didn't and she wasn't even paying attention, but my friend beside me kept egging me to just leave. So while she was busy talking to other students about personal things, I walked right out of the room and went to use the restroom and came back - No harm done. The funny thing is, she didn't even notice I was gone. - Nice school system, a teacher couldn't even realize one of their students was missing."

December 16, 2004 (Connecticut, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

A 31 year old woman writes: "I was abused sexually by my uncle for several years starting when I was four. This led to further abusive partners in my adult years. BUT I have been feeling lately that I was abused emotionally by my mother and teachers by not being allowed to urinate when I had to. I don't know why this is coming up NOW. I was forced by my mom and several teachers to (retain my waste) and never thought it might be abuse but it has had a lasting traumatic affect on me. Lately it has been REALLY getting to me...those memories of NOT being allowed to go (to the bathroom). I believe this has caused several health problems that I have been too embarrassed to seek professional help for. Being abused sexually as a small child has caused me to have SEVERAL problems with embarrassment over anything to do with that area (of the body). I often have to urinate frequently and my sleep is often disrupted several times during the night. Emotionally, if I am in a situation where a bathroom is unavailable and I have to go even a LITTLE bit, it is traumatizing to me. I cannot stand having even slight feeling of having to pee. My mother did this to me often and the scary thing is that she is a nurse and should have known better! I decided to look on-line to see if forcing a child to retain urine IS considered abuse. I always felt that I WAS being abused by this but never really looked into it until now when it has REALLY been bothering me. I was very comforted to find that it IS considered abuse. I thought for many years I was just being overly sensitive by the fact that this got to me. But it FELT like abuse. It made me feel very similar feelings to how my uncle made me feel. Finding your articles on-line was a big help."

December 1, 2004 (British Columbia, Canada) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

A 33 year old man writes: "Dear Laurie, your page on the stories about children being denied access to bathrooms during class time really hit home! When I was in Grade 2, about 8 years old, I had asked my teacher if I could go for a drink of water, which I was given permission to do. While I was doing this I developed an urge to have a bowel movement, and didn't think I could hold it in, so I ran to the bathroom and did so. When I returned to the classroom the teacher, a Mrs. Cross humiliated me in front of the class and slapped me with a detention. This reduced me to tears in front of everyone. Unlike most of the stories on this site it had a positive outcome - After talking to me later the teacher decided not to keep me after school. But when I read the stories on your site and saw the dates on them, I was APPALLED to discover that this autocratic, power-tripping behavior continues in schools, and even worse, that principals, school boards, and school superintendents SUPPORT this reprehensible conduct! I hope you are successful in ridding the schools of this 18th-century thinking."

October 22, 2004 (Texas, USA.) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

(A man writes:) "I was reading some of the stories on your site and I can't beleave that schools and parents still restrict children from using the bathroom. I attended a private school in JR high that restricted the use of the toilet. The restrooms at our school were locked all day including before and after school. The only time they were unlocked was during our 30 minute lunch break. The restrooms were located across the hall of the cafeteria. After lunch they were cleaned and locked for the day. The only other restroom was the staff and visitor restroom that us students were not allowed to use. If you had PE you could use the urinal in the locker room. After school you had to wait until you got home to go. Students who played sports could use the toilet in the locker rooms. However, if you had detention you would have to wait an additional two hours plus the commute home to go. Our school also had In School Suspension. You could be sent there at anytime for breaking the school rules. Either for a full day, half a day or during you lunch period. Students who had ISS were not allowed to go to the bathroom at all the whole day. We had lunch, but our lunches were brought to us to the ISS room which was also the after school detention room. Surviving on one break a day was hard enough, but holding in for over eight hours was absolute torture. I heard some had wet themselves. Students who complained about having to go were sometime given a extra day. My most horrible experience was in 8th grade when I was sent to the ISS room before lunch. I also had detention that day and begged the teacher to allow me to go to the restroom before reporting to the room. I told her that I had after school detention and that I already had to go quite badly. She told me no and escorted me to the ISS room. By the end of the normal school day I was in absolute agony. When the bell rang those with detention were not allowed to leave. I asked the teacher if I could leave to go real fast and was told no. He told me that maybe I will think twice before getting both the same day. The pain was absolutely unbearable, but a managed to wait until the end at 5:45. When we were released I was going to sneak into the visitor restroom, but it was locked. My mother was waiting for me and I told her what was wrong. We stopped at a restaurant on the way home, but I was so tense from hold it so long that I could not go. I went back to the car crying. My mom told me to try again, but I still couldn’t. She brought me to the hospital where I had to be catheterized. The doctor stated that my health was at risk if I kept holding it like that. My mother told the school what had happened, but the school would refuse to change their policy. My mom pulled me out of the class that day and enrolled me into public school. I learned the next year that they started allowing students in ISS to go once a day, but kept their other policies. I’m convinced that those teacher and administrators must have gotten some type of sexual gratification out of making us hold it. I will do anything I can to stop children from having to suffer what I did until my mother pulled me out of the school. Keep up the good work."

October 4, 2004 (Texas, USA) Posted on ChildAdvocate.org Guestbook:

"Thank you for putting up this website dedicated to the children. I had an unfortunate experience when I was in 3rd Grade with a hateful old substitute teacher who would not let me "pee" when I had to go... After several hours, I went... in the chair and my jeans - flooded my seat and the floor in front of me. I got to walk around in my soaked clothes for the rest of the day - I don't even remember getting to go "clean up". Although this happened just over 40 years ago, the memory still is there and so are the scars. I identify with children who are not allowed 'to go' when they need to, and I want to thank you for what you are doing to correct this problem in our schools. Sincerely my Best wishes to you, Laurie Couture! PS - Perhaps if the mean INCONSIDERATE "teachers" who do these things could undergo a forced retention like they inflict on their students, they might have an understanding of the INHUMANE treatement they are putting on their students and also realize that they are NOT being any kind of a role model for these children."

March 23, 2004 (Minnesota, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I CAN believe everything I read on here... I've been through it, and seen fellow students go through it as well. When I was in elementary school in Minnesota, it was torture. On several occasions I was told to "hold it" until lunch, which in one case was over an hour away.

In second grade I had a teacher that on several occasions made me wait until lunch. This teacher did this quite often. All of the students feared her. She rarely allowed bathroom breaks for anyone. From 8:00 am until 12:00 p.m. we had to wait. Then after lunch we where allowed one bathroom break at 1:30pm. One morning I just couldn't hold it anymore. I was on the verge of tears and her beady eyes glared at me with her mean thin lips pursed together like she was going to eat me alive! She took my arm firmly and dragged me into the nurse's office. She opened the bathroom door and WATCHED me. I tried for several minutes to urinate but I couldn't do it with her watching me and saying "hurry up!" over and over again. She slammed the door open and told me to get off the toilet and called me a "little liar" and grabbed my arm again and took me back to class. Luckily it was only 6 more minutes until lunch. I was utterly miserable however and scared I might have an accident the whole time. Other students had been escorted out by her before, and I then knew what had happened to them.

I have hated that teacher ever since and have at times vowed revenge. Mostly silly things like to toilet paper her house some day or save jars of pee and dump them on her car, or something like that. She has caused serious mental problems for me my entire life. I currently am finaly getting over a fear of urinating or deficating in public restrooms. I can now though, only after I stopped taking people so seriously and stopped caring what they might think. I had to force the fact that "everyone does it" into my head, which took years and years. I also suffer with a fetish. I do sometimes "hold it" and fantasize that someone is forcing me to.

I hate the thought that this might happen to my children and hope that someday teachers will learn thier place. They are simply people who are EMPLOYED to TEACH our children... Essentialy, they are working for the very children they are abusing. Maybe that is why they see it as a outlet to have these horrible power trips."

February 24, 2004 (State Unknown) Posted on ChildAdvocate.org Guestbook:

A 32 year old man reports the following: "I am 32 and a high school teacher. I am shocked that schools still legally beat children in some states and use "bathroom discipline" in virtually every state. I teach at a Catholic Diocesan high school which is relatively strict. Our school encourages bathroom breaks in between classes. Still, as teachers we allow students to be let out to go. They only have to ask. As a kid I had a weak bladder and had to go every hour to two hours. I also suffered nocturnal enuresis until I was college age. I went to a Catholic Elementry school that restricted bathroom use to specific times. Most teachers would let me go when I asked until I hit 5th grade. We had this Sister who was very strict. The first day of school she stated NO BATHROOM BREAKS except when she took us, and not until. I am shocked schools still get away with this type of behavior."

February 5, 2004 (Wisconsin) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I must be awfully unlucky, but I grew up in an unholy alliance of people who wouldn't let me go to the bathroom if it wasn't convenient or "proper." These were my mom, various teachers, and a close family friend who often babysat for me. This has done some tremendous damage to my psyche that I still suffer vestiges of. I am 45. First, there were many teachers, but you know that story through your research. But the sixth grade teacher was the worst. This was back when one teacher ran the whole class all day. You didn't go from room to room like in high school. I feared afternoon, because it was two and a half hours without recess. I complained to my mom one day how the teacher was treating us. I sure wish I even *had* parents who confronted these teachers, but not mine -- my mom ridiculed me for even complaining: "don't be silly, I'm not gonna write a note so that you can go to the toilet." One thing about my mom -- I was made to feel that my feelings were utterly irrelevant and unimportant, whether it was this problem or any other. Then, there were those car trips. I became afraid when my mom said "we're going for a ride somewhere," because I knew that meant sitting in increasing discomfort for an unpredictable amount of time. Sometimes that family friend would go along on those sightseeing trips. When I had to go to the bathroom, it was like an evil, almost vindictive conspiracy -- they both boasted how long they could go without needing a bathroom. Needless to say, this resulted in my eventually being very afraid to even say that I needed to go. Even as an adult on my own, I was afraid to even let people know that I needed to go. And, yes, I emerged as an adult with a submissive sexual fetish centering on bathroom denial."

October 23, 2003 (USA, Southern Region) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I just found your site and was amazed to find that teachers still refuse to let children visit the restroom when they need to. Reading the articles reminded me of my own childhood. My first grade teacher in a private Southern school sent the class as a group at certain times to the bathroom. The bathrooms had only 3 stalls. If you were among the last of the group in the bathroom, you could be sure the teacher would be waiting to spank you for "taking too long" when you came out of the stall. All the kids in my class were punished in this way, and there was always much whispering of "They're gonna get it now," when the teacher left for the bathroom. This was the only time I was ever paddled in school, but after that I was terrified of asking the teacher if I could go to the bathroom. I remember wetting my pants in the fourth grade while standing in line at the teacher's desk. I'm sure she would've let me leave, but I was embarrassed to ask. When I got to college, I was shocked to learn that it was perfectly alright to leave the room without asking as long as you did it quietly. I still have problems "going" when I need to. I hope your site helps teachers realize that forbidding children's bathroom trips can have mental and physical consequences for years to come."

Oct 11, 2003 (New Jersey, USA) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

Letter from a 28 y/o: "I was 12 at the time. I asked my emotionally abusive teacher if I could use the bathroom. She would not let me because she didn't like the way I asked. So I had to hold it in (You don't want to walk out of her class ever, trust me). Every 10-20 minutes she would ask me if I was ready to ask correctly. I asked, but she didn't like it. Finally after like an hour of this (I was in a Special Ed school and was stuck with the same teacher all day), she asked me again. So I said, "May I please go to the bathroom?"; she said yes. It was that year that I developed a urinary tract infection. I believe now she may be responsible for it. Its not the first time she did shit like that. In fact I had seen her do worse. This was the same teacher that told me it was against the law to stop woman from using the bathroom. But its okay to abuse kids, right?"

September 28, 2003 (Massachusetts, USA) Correspondence:

A 13-year old boy recalls an incident in the 6th grade in which he needed to use the bathroom and was forced against his will to remain in the classroom:

"The teachers in my school won't let you go to the bathroom. Even at lunch time, if you ask to go to the bathroom, they say, "finish your lunch first". And then, after all that, you still have to sign out to go! Its hard to explain, but, there are a couple of nice teachers that let you go in class when they are sitting at their desk and aren't explaining something. Last year, I had Mrs.___ who is wicked strict. One time I had to go to the bathroom really bad... I raised my hand and asked her nicely, 'Can I please go to the bathroom, I really have to go', but she said no. I waited like five minutes and raised my hand again, 'I really have to go to the bathroom!' She said no again! Finally, after 15 more minutes, I was ready to pee my pants, and I raised my hand and asked again. She said no, and I said, "I'm going to piss myself!" She says. "That's really inappropriate!" and I said, 'Well I'm going to piss myself if you don't let me go! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!' She made me go sit in the corner at another desk, but wouldn't let me go to the bathroom! After like a few more minutes, I got up, got my stuff, and she's like, "where do you think you're going?" and I just said, 'I'm outta here'... and I walked out."

August 29, 2003 (New Hampshire, USA) Interview:

29 year old young man recalls a number of upsetting incidents of forced bodily waste retention in the Exeter, NH school system:

"When I was in the first grade my teacher had created a row of desks in the front of the classroom for what she considered the "bad" kids. I can remember exactly how these kids were mistreated. The kids in this "bad" row at the front of the class were picked up by the hair and lifted up over the front of their desks to the floor. She would slap, hit or kick these kids countless times until she felt she got her point across. She also wouldn’t let these kids use the bathroom when they asked". (Editor’s Note: Corporal punishment is illegal in NH and was illegal at the time of this incident).

"In fourth grade, there was a bathroom in our classroom. We were only allowed to use it a couple times a day. Once being after lunch recess. I can remember feeling the strong urge to defecate but afraid to even ask. It was in the middle of a lesson. I can remember thinking of ways that I could sneak into the bathroom. I knew nothing would work. I sat through the whole lesson squeezing my sphincter to keep from shitting myself. It didn't work and I was left to sit on my soiled underpants all morning, lunch and after recess. Now that I think back, a few kids could smell the shit in my pants and made jokes. We weren't allowed to ask to go to the bathroom during recess either. If we did, we had to stay inside the rest of the time. Once inside, I ran for the bathroom and knew what I would find. My underwear was covered in my feces. Covered. I eliminated myself and removed my underwear. Not knowing what to do, and in fear that someone might find them if I threw them in the trash, I put them in my pocket and when I got back to my desk, crammed them as far back as I could in the back. I sat in fear the rest of the day that someone might find them or worse, smell them. I was also embarrassed that someone might know I wasn't wearing underwear. I had never been so embarrassed. I had some serious fears after that day. I just couldn't understand how going to the bathroom that was attached to a classroom was a BAD thing! To this day, it baffles me. They couldn't use the "causing trouble in the hallways" excuse. Also, after this day, I held my bowels regularly, causing severe pains and constipation."


"In a 10th grade study hall period at my high school I was told that I could not use the bathroom under any circumstances. My study hall period was directly after my lunch (after consuming food and liquid). The teacher that watched over the room made it very clear that using the bathroom was not an option and asking would result in a detention. One time, I had to hold my urine for over 45 minutes. I did finally urinate myself and had to spend the rest of the day in soiled underwear. Three days later I developed a urinary tract infection that required antibiotics."

"In 12th grade, one day after lunch, my best friend and I both had to use the bathroom before English class, but we didn’t have time to get our books, go to the bathroom, and get to class on time. If kids were late to class, they had to serve four nights detention. We ran to class, and just made the bell, without getting to go to the bathroom. The teacher had stopped all bathroom passes in that class because a boy in the class needed to use the bathroom at the same time every day (we had just eaten lunch!). Finally, I had to walk out of the classroom about 15 minutes into the class period to avoid an accident. My best friend said I muttered, ‘I can’t hold it anymore!’ to the teacher as I quickly flew out, and the teacher looked shocked, but said nothing when I returned."

August 30, 2003 (New Hampshire, USA) Interview:

25 year old young woman recalls a number of upsetting incidents of forced bodily waste retention in the Exeter, NH school system:

"Shortly after moving to Exeter (1986), my second grade teacher sat my desk on the hidden side of the coat closet, isolating me from the class. I was not allowed snacks, drinks and I was not allowed to use the bathroom at any time of day except at lunch. One time in the morning before snack time, I had to go to the bathroom very badly, and I told her I had to go. She said, "you know you’re not allowed to go- you’ll have to hold it until lunch time". I wet my pants finally, and I had to sit there. All the kids harassed me after. Another time, it was the same situation- I asked her five times, telling her, "I’m going to pee my pants again if I don’t go". She said again that I had to hold it until lunch. I told her I was going to run out of the room to the bathroom. She threatened to take away some project that the other kids were going to do. I didn’t care. I ran out of the classroom and went to the bathroom. I told my mother about it, and my mother went in and confronted the teacher, as well as informed the principal. After that, the teacher had to let me go to the bathroom, but she still withheld snacks and made me sit isolated from the class."

"In junior high, we were having a big test in science class, and he wasn’t letting any of us go to the bathroom that day. I started my menstrual period, and he wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom. I ended up having an accident all through my clothes, and then he had to send me to the nurse. Of course, I got really harassed by the kids for that one..."

"I had one teacher in 9th and 12th grade that had a rule that kids were allowed to go to the bathroom only once during the whole semester. If they asked after that, they received a detention. If they ran out of the room they got four nights detention. There was only about 5 minutes between classes. I had her 7th period. If I wanted to make it to the bathroom before her class, I had to go to my locker at lunch time and carry around the books from her class all day because my locker was on the next floor. One time, before her class, I was having one of my diarrhea attacks and I couldn’t get out of the bathroom. I missed her class because of it. I tried to explain it to her, but she sent me to the principal, who gave me four nights detention because he said I ‘should have gone to the nurse’. I couldn’t get off the toilet!"

July 22, 2003 (Wisconsin and Texas) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

"I stumbled on your site trying to find information about urolagnia and this story caught my eye. I have a male friend that has this condition (he is 52), that attended Catholic school in the 1950's and 60's. He lived in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I know Catholic schools were not the only schools to force urine retention in children because I attended an East Texas public school that did the same thing to me in 1958 and 1959. I would be interested to know what schools were documented in the Milwaukee area as having practiced this horrible form of child abuse during those years. It's hard to find any information because people want to sweep this stuff under a rug."

2001 (New Hampshire, USA) Interview:

Adult woman who attended a Catholic school in the late 1950's ands early 1960’s reports severe urinary dysfunction in adulthood as a result of a school policy that banned use of school toilet facilities all day, including after school hours. She reports that children in first grade were allowed to use the toilets, but once children entered second through sixth grades, toilet use was not allowed. "The only break we had was when we walked home for lunch". She recalls daily having accidents outside while waiting for her mother to pick her up after school. As a result of this abuse, she developed urinary dysfunction that required surgery.

April 9, 2001 (United Kingdom) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

Man recounts: "I was a boarder at a boy’s Catholic school that practiced forced urine retention. The teaching staff told us that urination was a sin. We could use the bathroom upon rising around 7:30 a.m., but from then on, bathroom use was not permitted until lunchtime, about 12:30- 1:00. My memory is one of squirming in torment in my seat. Some boys in class masturbated in order to control their bladders. One boy lost control of his bladder when the teacher was out of the room. I cannot remember what bathroom privilege was allowed later in the day. However, I recall that as punishment (for various misbehaviors in the evening), the final bathroom privilege of the night could be withdrawn... getting to sleep was very difficult. Masturbation was commonly employed to prevent unauthorized wetting. "

November 15, 2000 (Location unknown) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

Man recounts: "I came across your site and was amazed to discover that the agonies that I suffered in my young days were quite common. As a child I was forced to retain urine at home as a punishment for wetting the bed. I later developed a sexual fetish involving retention of urine..."

May 29, 2000 (United Kingdom) letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

Man recounts: "I attended a boarding school at the age of 16 in a third world country, some 30 years ago. I was unhappy there. The punishments for infraction of school rules, usually cheating, had to do with forced bladder discipline. On several occasions I was made to drink several glasses of water before 6:30 p.m., and then hold it. Boys who got good marks were allowed one visit to the lavatory between then and retiring to our dormitories. No one was allowed to use the lavatory during the night. When everyone was released to the lavatories before bed, boys under punishment would be escorted to the matron, who would permit us to urinate only a small amount, then would order us into bed. It happened to me on two occasions. This was the beginning of a near lifelong sexual preoccupation with retaining urine..."

March 2000 (United Kingdom) Letter to ChildAdvocate.org:

Woman recalls torture at a private school that she attended. Toilet use was designated to certain times during the day, except for children who lost their recess time due to misbehavior. The respondent reports that the teachers would look for children displaying obvious signs of distress and then would keep them inside for recess until they wet themselves. These children would then be beaten with a paddle.

December 14, 1997 (State unknown, USA) Parenting message board correspondence:

Man recounts school teachers made punished children retain waste for up to six hours, forcing them to stand outside the bathrooms while the other children relieved themselves. He adds that he was aware of a friend who was forced by his parents to retain his urine all night.

December 9, 1997 (State unknown, USA) Parenting message board correspondence:

A mother of a 14 year old boy wrote that as punishment for fighting in school, her son and the other boys involved were mandated to attend school diapered, as they would be forced to sit at a desk all day for in-school suspension, without toilet breaks. She writes that the female school nurse was to change the 14-year old boys’ diapers "in emergencies". This mother reports that she got no response from the school board when she protested, but was supported by the public health nurse.

December 1, 1997 (State unknown, USA) Parenting message board correspondence:

Woman recounts time at boarding school where children were barred from using toilets during class and also during the night.

1997 (New Hampshire, USA) Interview:

16 year old boy reported that when his school teachers deny him use of the toilet he has three options: Bolt from the classroom and into the bathroom, risking punishment; urinate in his seat and risk humiliation by his peers; or sit and dissociate by "fixating on a positive object in his mind such as ice cream or a pet".

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