Personal Experiences of the Editor: Why I Take this Seriously
© 2003 by Laurie A. Couture, M.Ed, LMHC

Elimination of bodily waste- This is a basic survival necessity, along with breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping and maintaining a proper temperature. It seems obvious enough, but venture into most public and private schools in America as a fly on the wall and you will find that this basic human need is treated at best as an inconvenience to classroom order; on average as a reward that a young person must earn; and at worse, as something that a young person can be deprived of , rationed or denied, as punishment.

Many parents send their children off to school assuming that their basic needs are cared for and allowed provision by their school teachers. After all, isn't the school acting in locus parentis? It is fair to assume that the majority of parents never question whether their children are allowed to use the toilet when the need arises- after all , they are busy, preoccupied with the routines of each day... and many want to believe that teachers "don‘t still do those things now a days". It is even more accurate to assert that most children who are denied toilet use never mention it to their parents. Not only is elimination a culturally taboo subject, it is something that children past the age of three learn to feel embarrassed about- especially at the prospect of not being able to "hold it". Teachers know for these reasons that children make the perfect victims. And those children who have cold and insensitive parents make even better victims.

When ever campaigns for child protection or improving education are mentioned, no where is it mentioned that children who are sitting in class with uncomfortable bladders and bowels are not doing any learning. In fact, their health is actually in jeopardy- physical and emotional. Add to the mix school campaigns that preach "respect one another", even as teachers don’t respect the bodies of children (in 23 states corporal punishment is still legal), and you have very hypocritical messages being sent.

Talk to most people- adult and child alike- and most everyone has a painful story to tell of having to retain waste in school, or witnessing it happening to another child, fearing they’d have an accident, watching other kids have an accident, or even having an accident themselves. Yet, despite this near universal experience, nothing has been done to abolish this practice in schools. And it occurs not only in schools- some of the most painful stories I have encountered have occurred at the hands of children’s parents, as forms of torture. Since every human being can relate to being preoccupied with finding a toilet when the need arises, why are people in positions of power over children- who’s bladders and bowels are smaller, and individual children have different internal rates for digestion and waste production- so insensitive and down right cruel about this basic physiological need?

I decided to raise public awareness to this issue when I realized through my work as a preschool teacher, social worker, mental health counselor and political child advocate that the inhumane practices in school that I personally experienced or witnessed were still occurring just as regularly and with just as little recourse as when I was a kid. Over the past ten years I have visited over 50 schools in New England and have spoken with 100’s of teachers. I have spoken with and worked with 1000’s of kids. In every part of the country, as well as other countries, this practice is as commonplace as spanking, more overlooked than spanking, and just as detrimental and harmful to children as spanking. It is time that parents start taking action- by letting their children’s teachers know that this is not acceptable. If their school will not provide for their child’s basic physical needs then parents must take legal action, using their state department of child protective services, their local media, and as a last resort, even class action lawsuits.

There was a learning disabled, very troubled boy in my 5th grade class who was banished to his seat until he completed his day’s work, of which he was resisting. He kept telling the teacher he needed to use the toilet badly, but she adamantly refused to allow him to go to the toilet "until his work was finished". The child was showing signs of distress, and finally, after another teacher refusal, he bolted from the classroom, across the hall, into the boy’s bathroom. Right behind him, however, bolted the female teacher, right into the boy‘s bathroom. A bunch of us got up and watched at the door- we were all routing for the boy as if betting money on a dog race. Much to my shock and horror, and I’m sure unimaginable to the boy himself, within seconds the teacher was dragging the boy out of the boy’s bathroom by the back of his ragged, gray t-shirt. His pants were unzipped and lowered, exposing his underwear. He hadn’t had a second's chance to relive himself. She dragged him back to the room, shoved him towards his seat and said in a low voice, "I said you’re not going!" I remember staring at him, in shock, later, as the bell rang to signal the end of school, and he was still sitting in that seat looking more dissociated and vacant than a mannequin. I wondered, "Did he wet his pants finally?" I never asked him. But the memory has haunted me for years.

I have seen children as young as four in preschool being denied the toilet after drinking a cupful of juice after snack time- because it was recess time. I have seen kids as old as 19 in high school being forced like hostages to sit in classrooms in sheer pain, denied the right to leave the classroom to use the toilet under the threat of punishment. This happens to children of all ages, in all grades, for a variety of adult-convenience or adult power and control-related reasons.

Four years after my graduation, when my sister was in high school, the local high school was rumored to be toying with the prospect of locking the restrooms during class hours, allowing only the nurse’s office toilet and the locker room bathrooms (by the lunch room) to remain open. One of my first acts of public advocacy was to draw up a petition that stated that if the bathrooms were locked, this matter would be brought to the attention of the local media, as well as to the local department of child protective services. My sister and her friends gathered 100’s of signatures from students in the school, and my own friends and I gathered signatures from adults and parents in the community. My sister told me that the few "cool teachers" in the school who had an open bathroom pass policy told her that while they supported the petition, they feared for their jobs if they signed. After well over 500 signatures were collected, my sister asked to speak to the school principal to present the petition, and her request was denied. Instead, I sent the petition certified mail to the local school board, asserting that if the school bathrooms were locked, I was posed and ready to proceed with the local media, with whom I had already began a dialogue about a potential story. The school board never responded to my petition. However, just as quietly as the idea arose, the idea to close the bathrooms never happened that year, or any year since.

School has only been in session for one week now in most parts of the country, and already the letters are coming in to my website from parents concerned about the toilet use policy at their children’s schools. It was well known that one particular teacher at the aforementioned high school was notorious for punishing students with four nights detention for even asking to use the toilet. Do children and adolescents deserve this human rights abuse? Adults in every setting, from college students to employees to prisoners, are protected from this inhumane practice. Why shouldn’t toilet use be considered a necessity and a human right for children?

The author remembers
When I was in elementary school we were rarely allowed to use the toilet at recess. In fact, one of my most haunting experiences in school was of a time in 5th grade when, on a briskly cold day, I had to urinate badly right before recess. The teacher had a policy that we could NOT use the bathroom before recess, or as we were coming inside for recess. We were required to wait until the work period began. Once the work period began (it took about 15 minutes for her to give instructions), she would then circulate a bathroom pass to each table (the only bathroom break of the morning). It could take up to an hour by the time the last child recived the pass. That day I was so desperate, I first thought of trying to sneak into the bathroom as we were coming in from recess. Unfortunatly, the teacher was standing outside the classroom, shooting down that plan. As the work period began, I eagerly volunteered to be the first to conference with her about my book report so that after the conference, I could "casually" request, "would it be ok if I start the bathroom pass at my table today?" I remember that I was literally shaking and sweating as I tried to get through the book report conference, because I had to urinate so badly. I remember praying that my plan worked. Thankfully, after the conference, the teacher, seeming preoccupied with her paper, granted my request. I took the pass, walked out of the room and then I ran to the toilet. But 24 years later, I am still haunted by the thought of WHAT IF she had said NO? What would I have done? Risk bolting out of the room without a pass and have her come in after me and drag me back into the room (as she did to the boy in my class)? Wet myself and risk unbelieveable shame and humiliation? BEG her- someone who was well known for denying bathroom breaks? No child should ever have to suffer this type of fearful situation.

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