The following is an excellent letter to Childadvocate.org from a retired school teacher who respected the health and human rights of the young people in his care:

August 28, 2003 - To Childadvocate.org

"I am horrified at what I am reading. If I weren't a retired teacher and know what I know, I would believe that this is all made up. Unfortunately, it is not. I know the stories of my teaching career.

It is possible to maintain control over the classroom, prevent students abusing restroom visits and see that their basic needs are met. I didn't allow squirming in my room or accidents. I sent students to the restroom. The secret is to separate restroom abuse from restroom needs. Teachers who make up a bunch of arbitrary rules are setting themselves up for misery. I simply didn't refuse students, period. If there was evidence of abuse I counseled that student privately and worked out something that worked for that student. I had no accidents. I made it clear that there would never be a time when I expected a student to have any kind of accident or be in pain. My students respected and appreciated the respect that I gave them. They rewarded me by not abusing restroom breaks.

Teachers make the horrible mistake of making restroom needs a discipline problem. Bad mistake. It makes life miserable for the teacher and the student. Now for my problem: I am researching information. A local high school has a new policy outlawing any hall passes during class. This is even true for illnesses. Children must wait until the class change to see the nurse. Of course there is not ample time to take care of all needs in four minutes. It is common place for girls to go home regularly during their periods to change clothes.

I plan to challenge this stupid rule, but I need all the information I can get. Send me by e-mail the information or the websites. I need more than just the synopsis. I plan to win on this. It is ridiculous for a teenage student to be in sight of a restroom and be required to wet his pants. Period. For a person to stand over another and deliberately allow an accident is child abuse, pure and simple. It must be stopped. We can't even treat prisoners of war that way.

I have a spinal cord injury. I know the horrible effects of an overstretched bladder. I don't want this to happen to students. My urology specialist and spinal cord physicians are on my side on this. As you can see, I am very upset about this. If I hadn't taught school and know that it is possible to allow students access to the restroom and maintain order, I wouldn't be as upset. I actually had fewer requests than some of the other teachers. I didn't allow this to be a control issue. My students knew from day one how I felt. They respected me and I respected them. Respect says it all. Now when I see former students anywhere they come up and hug this old man. I was loved because I loved the students. Teachers are treated by their students the way they treat the students. The only criticism I received from my principal was that I loved the students too much. If I had it to do over, I would love them even more. Humiliation is a sin in my book. Teachers reap what they sow. Today I am blessed by hundreds of students who rush up to see me whenever they see me. I am proud of my record as a teacher.

Thanks for your help."

Robert McMenis

(Credentials: Mr. McMenis taught preschool through high school for 28 years. BME degree advanced studies in middle school curriculum, counseling, reading and the organization of middle schools. Was certified K-12 in music, elementary education and social studies 5-8. Served on two state curriculum committees and was a consultant for the state in social studies. Been youth director for 30 years working with youth in camp setting, retreats and in the church)

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