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Myths About Home Schooling/Self-Directed Learning & Commonsense Answers
© 2003 by Laurie A. Couture, M.Ed, LMHC
"Children cannot learn without school"
In the first three years of life, children successfully and passionately teach themselves how to walk, understand how objects work, how the environment works, how social relationships work and how to speak and understand a complex language. Many teach themselves how to read, count and draw. They are not schooled in these things. Learning is innate in all human being, (even the most cognitively disabled)- until it becomes a forced chore. If parents provide the right materials, opportunities and experiences, children are capable of teaching themselves what they need to know according to their goals in life.
"Children WILL NOT learn unless forced to learn"
Children learn every moment, every day, especially through play and pursuit of personal interests. I dare say that children learn more during weekends and school vacations than they do the entire year of school. If their love for learning is not squashed, children will naturally hunger for learning and will actively pursue knowledge on their own. Ask any child to talk about his or her interests or favorite things to do, and you may be frightened by how much a child can learn by his or her own volition. When a child encounters a subject he or she does not enjoy, the child will learn that in order to progress in certain areas of an enjoyable subject, some knowledge of the unenjoyable subject is necessary. For example, several of the children I work with dislike reading. However, they love playing with and trading their Yugioh, Magic or Pokemon cards. In order to play the card games, or to understand the value of the cards, they have taught themselves to read complicated words and comprehend complicated instructions contained on the cards.
"Children cannot be socialized without school"
Children are born social beings! Schooling is not necessary to "make" someone social. Interaction with parents, siblings and family is social. Homeschooled children tend to make friends with a great diversity of people of all ages with various interests, as they are out interacting in the community much of the time. Only school forces children to be segregated by age group. No where else in life are people segregated in that manner. This creates the generation gaps that cause adults to misunderstand children, and children to know nothing about adults. The "socialization" of school, contrary to "socializing" kids, creates a breeding ground for isolated cliques to form, segregated by clothing style, music style, popularity, money and status of personal interests. The hostage-like environment of schools, in which children have little power, tends to breed a cruel peer culture in which children vie for dominance and territory. Children who are marked as being even slightly "uncool" (wrong hair cut, wrong clothes, unique characteristics, etc) by the dominant peer groups are referred to as losers, and the harassment these rejected children endure can be socially and psychologically devastating. The Columbine era has exposed the sobering truth about the devastating affects of children who are rejected by their peers. Schooled children attempt to clone themselves according to the peer culture. In contrast, homeschooled children tend to make friends with people based on internal qualities and genuine shared interests rather than on outward appearances and social group membership.
"Children won’t learn about the real world without school"
To the contrary, children cannot learn about the "real world" BECAUSE they are in school most of the day and week! American children live in a democratic society. However, instead of helping children learn first hand about the rights and responsibilities of freedom and living in a democracy, schools are run as totalitarian dictatorships, affording children no opportunity to exercise freedom or even basic human rights. Additionally, because children are corralled in schools, the community cannot benefit from the innovative ideas, talents and contributions that children could offer to society if they were involved in community life. Many self-directed learners participate in helping to run their family’s business, and some even start their own businesses at young ages. What a way to learn about the "real world"!
"Without school children won’t have access to extracurricular activities"
Children who are homeschooled have far more opportunities to explore personal interests than their schooled peers, including sports, art, music, dance, martial arts, gaming, nature, travel, apprenticeships, internships and exploration. School extracurricular activities, especially sports, are often just extensions of the adult-directed, control-based ideology of the school day, complete with punishment for infractions.
"Children won’t learn the right things without school"
In an innovative society full of independent thinkers, what ARE the "right" things to learn, and who determines WHAT is "right" to learn, and why? Children are fed a diet of disconnected facts prescribed by a governmental institution that determines what is "right" to learn. Many parents who homeschool do so because they feel that they can do a better job at guiding their own children’s education. They feel it is their right to determine what is "right" for their children. The "right" things to learn are those that further one’s personal goals, abilities and interests.
"Children won’t get into college without school"
This is absolutely false. Many homeschooled children do in fact go to college, and can and do get into prestigious universities such as Harvard. Their applications are based on the documentation parents and children themselves keep of their life experience and independent studies. In some cases, homeschooled children actually take college classes before the age of "graduation".
"I’m not smart enough or I don’t have the time to homeschool"
Children can do amazing amounts of learning on their own, as long as parents provide the materials, the support and the opportunities for learning. If a child needs help with a subject a parent is baffled by, family members, people in the community, peers and tutors can assist. Homeschooling does not have to follow a prescribed set of rules. Many mentors can be involved in a child’s learning process. A child can stay with a family member or friend while a parent works and be "homeschooled" with the parent in the evenings, on weekends, or even just a couple of days per week! Many homeschooling parents incorporate their child into their daily routines, work, errands and appointments. This is how children gain "real world" experience. This is also how families learn to respect one another, negotiate, deepen attachments, and understand one another, rather than be happy to be "rid" of one another at the start of every September.
"Homeschooling is a haven for abusive parents and religious fanatics"
The true homeschooling movement, founded on the grassroots efforts of John Holt, is based upon strong, positive parent-child attachments and upon the principles of democratic, nurturing, respectful parenting and learning - the whole reason why these parents feel their children are safest at home. When homeschooling is mentioned in the media, it is often in the form of heavily dramatized cases of severely abusive families who isolate their children from people outside of their religion/family and from society, referring to the practice as "homeschooling". Such treatment is not in line with the true homeschooling movement, but yet leaves a negative, distorted view in the public’s mind of home schooling. The John Holt-based homeschooling movement is the antithesis to child abuse and social isolation-- in school, and at home.
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