Adult Seeking Help For A Child
© 2000-2003 by Laurie A. Couture, M.Ed, LMHC

Is this abuse?
Child abuse laws vary from state to state. Child Advocate.org cannot answer state-specific questions about abuse definitions. If you suspect that a child may be experiencing some form of abuse or neglect, contact your local state child protective services to ask specific questions or to file a report. You can obtain the number by searching through the human service section of your phone book, or by contacting the information operator.

A child I know is being harmed:
If you suspect that a child may be experiencing some form of abuse or neglect, immediately contact your local state child protective services to file a report. You can obtain the number by searching through the human service section of your phone book, or by contacting the information operator. If you feel that the child is in immediate danger, contact the police or dial 911. In the meantime, do what you can to support, protect and shelter the child until help can be obtained.

Authorities aware child is being harmed and the child is still at risk for harm:
If you are involved in a situation in which you feel a child is being harmed and you have been unsuccessful in your efforts to obtain protection or just recourse for the child, contact your state office of child protective services and file another abuse report, or file a grievance at the district or state level. As a last resort, seek legal counsel. Child Advocate.org cannot offer any legal advice.

How do I protect my child from corporal punishment at school?
Obtain your school district’s corporal punishment policy to determine whether corporal punishment is legal in your child’s school. If it is legal in your state and school district, produce a notarized letter stating that under no circumstances shall your child be subjected to any form of corporal punishment or disciplinary pain infliction by any school authority. Hand deliver or send by certified mail a copy to the superintendent, principal, and, if necessary, all of your child’s teachers. Explain that you will take legal action if your child is harmed in any manner by a school authority. If any school authority administers any form of corporal punishment once receiving the letter, contact your local child protective services or seek legal counsel.

My child’s teacher is denying my child use of the toilet:
Promptly contact your child’s teacher and explain that under no circumstances should your child be denied use of the toilet when your child expresses the need, nor should your child be punished in any manner for using the toilet. Explain that you will discuss with your child the importance of not using the bathroom pass as a pass to socialize. Add that you have instructed your child to walk out of the classroom should the teacher deny this need again. Follow up with a letter (notarized if you feel necessary) to your child’s teacher as well as to the principal. Document in the letter that you will take legal action if your child’s teacher continues to put your child’s health at risk in this manner. If any school authority denies your child use of the toilet after receiving this letter, contact your local child protective authorities, seek legal counsel, or contact the media to expose the problem. If the matter becomes severe and your child is being threatened with serious punishments, consider pursuing educational alternatives for your child (switching schools, home schooling, private school, charter school).

The school is punishing my child wrongly:
If you feel that your child is being wrongly punished (i.e.: for performing a bodily function or for speaking up about an injustice at school), first calmly attempt to resolve the matter with the teacher involved by having a conference or meeting. If unsuccessful, discuss the matter with the school principal. If the matter becomes severe and school authorities are non-responsive, seek legal counsel, contact the media to bring public attention to the problem, or consider educational alternatives for your child (switching schools, home schooling, private school, charter school).

What can I do if I witness a child being harmed in public?
If it is safe for you to do so, consider intervening in a calm and non-threatening manner by saying something such as, "Please don’t hit your child", or "It can be difficult to shop with kids when they get tired and bored, but hitting won‘t help make it easier for you", or "I can see that you are really frustrated, but you don’t need to hurt your child to show them how to behave in the store". If you are a mandated reporter of child abuse and neglect, state, "I’m a mandated reporter of child abuse and neglect and if you hit your child again I will call store security/the police". If you feel that it is unsafe to intervene, or if you feel the child is in danger, seek out store security or call the police. Please understand that if you choose to intervene, it can feel awkward. The parent is likely to respond to your attention by swearing at you, telling you to mind your own business or by becoming belligerent. However, your intervention may make a difference in the life of a child who is unable to obtain help in any other manner.

Legal Questions:
Seek legal counsel. Child Advocate.org cannot answer any legal questions.
Some helpful websites: www.childhelpusa.org; www.missingkids.org; www.childadvocates.org

Child custody issues:
Please seek legal counsel. Child Advocate.org cannot answer any questions regarding child custody issues.

Special Education and IEP questions:
Please consult with an educational advocate. Child Advocate.org cannot answer any questions about special education or IEPs.

How can I become a child advocate?
Please be referred to the Become Involved page.

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